Insta-friday

1. last weekend was a woman's conference at my church! this insta is so grainy, but I am SO blessed to call these girls my friends/sisters & go through the ups/downs of life together.

2. this weekend WSM is taking 150 girls up North for DOTK! [girls retreat for our youth group...an amazingly life-changing & empowering weekend is ahead] as a gift we made a gazillion button bracelets & a ton of other Pinterest trinkets.

3. the other night I went running rather late in the day -- I love that we can do that now -- and the sun was setting, so I had to snap a photo... I'm obsessed with the sky/sunsets, the Artist is a good painter!

4. working for a young adults/college ministry, but not being in college is kind of funny. I forget how stressful this time of the year is, with finals and what not. so yesterday I got to assemble & pack a ton of hopefully encouraging care packages... fun times trying to figure out postage machine in our office :)

5. this morning when I was leaving the house I noticed all the dandelions popping up and it reminded me of the classic Five Iron Frenzy song... old school, right!?

color run

today I signed up for a 5k... not just any old boring 5k... a colorful & FUN 5k! I don't know why I have never heard of this, but instead of those classic mud or warrior dashes that make you run through mud, this run makes you run through COLOR!! how fun is that!! if that's not fun enough, a bunch of my girlfriends are also doing it!! I'm so excited :) I love that someone finally decided to promote FUN exercise. find a fun / color run near YOU!

background

I'm all about indie, alternative, folk music... but I also secretly LOVE rap/hip-hop music. Since most of the main stream rap/hip-hop music is so inappropriate, I'm SO thankful that Lecrae has such good music, it fills my rap needs without having to sing nasty lyrics! Background came on earlier and I just really like these lines...



So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in you, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand
Me, I'm just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument

I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name
And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You
Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and gleam from You
Seems You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this

mood: mooooody

OKAY. So update, I heard back from MBI ... didn't get accepted, didn't get declined, didn't get offered other options. I was just told to wait.

HONESTLY, GOD!? WAIT?! MORE WAITING?!

Want to hear what is going on in my head right now.... What the HECK. Am I STILL not FULLY grasping the patience thing?! [I consider myself PRETTY patient at this point in my life... 22 years old & still never had a boyfriend, still living at home, still waiting for direction on the next step -- have these things NOT taught me enough patience so far?!] What am I doing wrong?! Why am I not getting a clear answer, when I was expecting it!? What is God trying to teach me?! What could it possibly be, that is making a clear decision for my next phase of life be so difficult?! Why is it taking this long if I have PURE intentions to wanting a Bible degree?! I want to BUILD the Kingdom. If Moody isn't the avenue that's supposed to happen, doesn't it seem like I'm just wasting my time?! Why was I supposed to apply there in the first place?!

What is it?! Speak! Tell me! Just tell me already!?

Hey human nature, it's time to cue all of the doubt, questions, anxiety, stress, depression & anger... guess what it is ALL creeping in right on time. Where is God? Why isn't He answering/showing me where to go?!

I was TRYING to see God in all of this by reminding myself of ALL the times so far in my life that HE has shown up & not in small ways, but HUGE ways. I can say that I have SEEN God the ways that Moses has seen Him. I have experienced His grace in ways that the unclean woman has. I know that I know, that I know He is who He says He is. --- but it's difficult to REALLY believe that in my heart. My mind knows and my heart has known, but is having a hard to remembering His Truth/Ways/Love/Grace.

I'm not sure whether to consider this part, chapter, season a STORM? I'm so confused.

I KNOW that I am here for a HUGE purpose, I am an OVERCOMER since birth and the 12 inch scar down my chest reminds me daily... He has OVERCOME, so I could have a chance to OVERCOME ... that's enough of a reminder to know that I have purpose & a call on my life, but how does He want me to carry our HIS purpose for my life?! He didn't allow me to overcome for nothing!

Now what? Keep waiting?

Move forward with the OTHER options?

Can the MBI idea all together?

God remind me of who You are and who I've seen You as.... I KNOW Your provision/love/care/heart ... remind me ... reveal Yourself to me AGAIN ... get me out of this darkness ... revive me ... restore me ... redeem me

too much me, more of YOU.

-----

in the time of writing this & being annoyed, I've been listening to Shawn McDonald on shuffle... God ALWAYS speaks to me through music lyrics and especially through SHUFFLE... often when I'm needing to hear from Him, a song comes on and basically reminds me of who He is or encourages me...

AND every Shawn Mac song that has played randomly so far, has totally been either what I'm thinking or how I feel... I'm not even kidding and this one just now REALLY struck me, cause this is me!?

How can we know so much

Yet still be so out of touch

And how we miss the point

When its all about, all about Love

/\ I know so much of how God is and how His ways aren't our ways, but I'm still feeling out touch and I'm missing the point that it has NOTHING about me, it's just about Him/Love.!?

----

I actually accidently found this passage this morning while flipping to 1 John ... found it fitting to my current situation ... 2 Peter 1v3-11

---

as I'm doing the last edit on this post, his song Take Hold came ... another good reminder of course.

There is no hope up in your eyes,
as if the blue had left your skies,
The sadness fills you cheeks of stone,
Maybe you believe you are alone.

Your face is shone with quiet despair,
as if this was what you chose to wear,
Your sin you strap upon your chest,
as if there was no longer rest, longer rest.

Take hold, don't give up.
You gotta make the best of what you got,
Give it all you best shot,
Take hold, don't give up.

Your heart seems to have hit the floor,
but I do believe you're meant to soar,
The enemy's wounds, they must go deep,
but I pray the Lord your soul to keep.

There is no taking back those days a gone,
But now it's your chance just to move on.
Make the best of the life you live,
'Cause before Him you soon will give.
You soon will give

end for now.

Insta-fridayyy

here are some faves from the last week or so.

happy FRIDAY!

His ways are higher.

Russian pancake date.

Re-visiting a childhood memory.

Such a good day.

Lovely.

God & I times outside... the best.

Chopped the hair!

explosion.

my head is about to explode & I'm sure I'm giving myself way more gray hair than I originally intended. God is teaching me a lot in this season of waiting, still waiting, and more waiting. on top of here's this decision, or this one, or maybe that one. I had coffee with a friend tonight and she just said that God just wants us to take the next step. easier said than done, right?! God has opened some doors for me and now it's up to me to just take the next step. I'm naturally an over-thinker, perfectionist and severely indecisive... so everything going through my mind lately is hard to process because of the way I've conditioned myself to think... I need to stop thinking my way & just let God be in control. :::::: after getting coffee with my lovely friend Let Go by Frou Frou was on.... guess God is STILL trying to speak sense into me, no wonder I've been WAITING so long.... I'm too stubborn to grasp HIS way of doing things. I'm glad God hasn't given up on me, I'm a mess & totally complicating my life even more, by my feeble attempts to figure out God's will for my life!! dying to myself DAILY & choosing to follow HIM is all I have to do, that is the will of God, to just follow Him.

Take Up Your Cross and Follow Jesus // And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

luke 9 v 23-24

////////////// everything will be okay in the end,

if it's not okay, it's not the end.

a good friday.

God is so GOOD.

We were able to rent out a local theatre for our Good Friday service this past weekend. the same theatre that NEEDTOBREATHE played in just the week before... then Friday as a collective we are in there praising JESUS!? I love it. Royal Oak is this cute trendy little local city, swarming with young adults... perfect right!? the day started out with lots of running around between church, the grocery store, and the theatre [but I do LOVE my job :) ]. our awesome band did a really speedy sound-check & rushed over to other campuses to play for other Good Friday services, just hours before the LH service -- we were so thankful for their long hours & hard work all day. after hanging out at the theatre all day trying to take care of the band & crew with Linds, some lovely ladies and I grabbed dinner & coffee... the service started at 10 pm, so we had to get caffeinated! Right before the service, about 30 of us gathered for a really crowded/sweaty/powerful time of prayer, it was such a good way to start the night! Everything about the night went even better than I was expecting! We had around 1,100 people come out for really powerful worship & life-changing teaching. I don't know how people could have sat through, the almost three hour service, without leaving changed! the presence of God was so tangible in that place. it was seriously a good Friday, mainly because the story of what Jesus did for humanity is so GOOD!

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. - EPHESIANS 2

*photos by Randy Floresca

pinterest treat

Over the weekend I was browsing Pinterest -- that's what normal girls do on a Saturday night right? While I was gawking over the dessert section, I decided to take action! So I scrounged up all the ingredients to make brownie-cookies. Last fall I attempted the same dessert and it totally flopped. In January while I was in Atlanta, my aunt made the PERFECT Pinterest brownie-cookies, they were so yummy -- except they had Oreo's in them, and I'm not really an Oreo fan. THEN I found the perfect recipe...

Ingredients:

Brownie mix & chocolate chip cookie dough.

Directions:

Place parchment paper in 13x9 pan. Pour brownie batter into pan. Scoop cookie dough onto brownie batter. Bake 35 minutes at 400˚. Allow treat to cool. Add a scoop of vanilla ice cream & voila!

thailand : year later

It's been a year since I left a rainy Sydney Airport for a foggy Hong Kong and ended up in a dark humid Bangkok Thailand. with just a hiking backpack, a carry on and a pillow -- no hair dryers, no extra comforts, just a week or so worth of clothes a pair of tennis shoes and flip flips -- for three months!? [sometimes I miss living life that simply...!]

It's crazy what you remember a year later, I remember the customs guy at the Sydney airport guessing that we were with YWAM because his sister had been involved with YWAM, the nasty dessert we had for dinner on the plane, I remember taking Thai money out at the airport, I remember getting picked up in a Sung-tow for the first time, racing down the busy high way thinking to myself, is this really my life?! I remember being scared/anxious/excited all at the same time... not knowing what to expect. fast forward to June 2011, three months later, I couldn't believe it was already over, that short amount of time... was so life-changing.

the people I met, the stories we heard, the lives we saw change, the long sweaty church services, the language barriers, the food, the opportunities, the tears, the laughs, the tension, and the joy of knowing we were all exactly where God wanted us for that moment in time. I'm SO thankful for that opportunity and really will never forget Thailand.

customs lines. smoggy sun rises. meeting missionary families. passing out Thai Bibles. an elephant ride. shady internet cafes. laundromats. fitting 18 people in the bed of a pick up truck. skype calls. running around the Chaing Mai moat, early enough to see the monks collecting the offering from the shrines. eating rice for all three meals. grocery shopping at 7-11 and Tesco. the colors and smells of the markets. language barriers. bad coffee, but good enough. baht. church services on the cement floor of an four wall church. Karen grandma's. being offered fanta in a dirty plastic cup. battery powered house electricity. nick names. cold showers, even if hot was an option. mountains. hand motions. song-tow adventure rides. learning. growing. sleeping in a bamboo hut. hospitality. sights and sound of the Burma & Thai border. alive churches. worship in Thai. lights & sights of Bangla Road. putting Satan in his place, before going into the bars. seeing the look on a refugee/orphan's face when she was told she was beautiful. living simply. being the minority/sticking out. roof top worship. sweaty bus rides. crowded streets. torrential rain. smoothies. long church services. the kids. trying to teach English in a creative way. walks to the corner hut for mystery snacks. speaking in church services with translators. bug bites. playing UNO with sponsored kids. MANGO. bucket showers with chickens and pigs. Starbucks for bar ministry intercessions. being faithful in the little. the sight of Phuket from a plane window. live monkey's. secret beaches. hill tribes. motor bikes. street vendors. fashion. uni students. the lady at the cafeteria bakery. wild dogs. won gen. hiking backpacks. seeing so many white tourist men. plastic chairs. Sa-wat-dee Ka / kob-khun Ka. culture sensitivity. trying and trying again to use chop sticks. avoiding spice. seems crackers. bumpy bus rides. seeing God move in Thailand.

that. was. Thailand.

take the world, but give me Jesus

one of the most played songs on my iTunes would be Take the World But Give Me Jesus by Ascend the Hill [listen to it & you'll know why]. the first time I heard it was when I lived in Australia, I had just finished watching Blood Diamond, weird but profound memory I guess. I always remember where I was when I hear a song for the first time. ever since then, it's a song that I really never get tired of hearing. anyways, this is my prayer...




Take the world, but give me Jesus,
All its joys are but a name;
For His love abideth ever,
Through eternal years the same

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Sweetest comfort of my soul;
With my Savior watching over me,
I can sing though billows roll

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Let me view His constant smile;
Then throughout this life's long journey
He will lead me all the while

Take the world, but give me Jesus.
In His cross my trust shall be,
Till, with clearer, brighter vision,
Face to face my Lord I see!

So take the world, but give me Jesus
Take the world, but give me Jesus
Take the world, but give me Jesus
Take the world, but give me Jesus

Oh, the height and depth of mercy!
Oh, the length and breadth of love!
Oh, the fullness of redemption,
Pledge of endless life above!

Oh, the height and depth of mercy!
Oh, the length and breadth of love!
Oh, the fullness of redemption,
Pledge of endless life above!

So take the world, but give me Jesus
So take the world, but give me Jesus
Take the world, but give me Jesus
Take the world, but give me Jesus

walking on water.

Oh God... what are You telling me? where are You sending me? why am I so confused?!

I really don't think I've ever been so confused about the future in my life... I'm getting super anxious [hate it] about what's going to happen next. I'm TRYING to walk on water and I keep looking down. it's so frustrating... I just want to walk towards Jesus and my human mind of logic, planning and reasoning is getting in the way. I like things to be definite, this or that. and right now life's next stage is definitely indefinite and more like this, that or maybe that... too many choices for what's next. >> this is such a scary spot for a VERY indecisive girl.

there are four different locations, one school option, one leadership opportunity, or being left clueless in Michigan for another season of life... none of this is making sense now, but it some how makes sense in my head... I'm just REALLY confused on where/what I'm supposed to do next.

every time I pray about what's next I don't hear anything? so does that mean I'm just supposed to keep waiting?! just keep trying to listen? God I need You to speak as clearly as You did in the past, why am I not hearing You right now!?

if I get into Moody Chicago, am I just supposed to go there!? what if I get into Moody's WA campus? what if I'm supposed to move back to Australia?! what if I'm supposed to stay in Michigan?! I. am. so. confused.

this is my way to written-out-word-ly processing the situation, obviously :/

“Come, he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat,
walked on the water and came toward Jesus."
Matthew 14:29

help me.

Insta-friday

1. YAY! it's finally warm enough to run outside... fresh air beats the treadmill any day!






2. clinging to this a lot lately.










3. gotta love having a twin to go see cute movies with & eat at our fave 24/7 restaurant with!









4. some days I really miss the smell of salty ocean air... thankfully this candle helps.

exciting.

if this is the case, I can't begin

to imagine what's to come...

gush.

Can I just take a second to gush about my life?! Oh yeah this is my blog of course I can :) These last few weeks God has REALLY opened my eyes to see HOW MUCH I have to be thankful for.... it makes me feel so happy & kind of guilty that I have it SO good!! My family/friends/community/job are such a huge blessing...! trying to count my blessings more frequently. just had to take a second to gush about my surroundings, out of sheer thankfulness!!

very moody

this afternoon it dawned on me how long it's been since I've applied to Moody! I started the application in August, turned it in September and still have no idea if I've gotten in. it made me so discouraged and frustrated that it's taken THIS LONG! plus it's SO intimidating to think about what's next in my life... moving to Chicago? staying in Michigan? moving back to Australia? other school options? other job options?

frustrating!


but then God reminded me of some things...

God has a sense of humor... once again using a major life decision to teach me lots & lots of patience. it's also teaching me that God is a lot bigger than the plans I plan for myself. we can only do so much to plan/prepare, the rest is [cliche-ly] placed in His hands.

so I'm trying to find the freedom that can be found in the fact that I have NO idea what my life will look like in six months or in six years. just trying to remind myself that the unknown is FUN / EXCITING / ADVENTUROUS ... all I have to do is sit back & let God lead me to all of my where/what/who/when's of life.

praying for peace / understanding / wisdom today ...
I'll need all of that IF I get into Moody
and IF I don't get into Moody.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
- 1 peter 5:6-1

speak now Jesus

a nice part of my job is getting the music ready for the weekend at church... therefore I get an in on what we will be singing, it's fun! I'm excited that we're singing this gem! I've been listening to it all week... it's literally exactly what I needed to hear this week.



Say the words and I will listen
Show Your way, impart Your wisdom
open up my ears to hear, open up my ears to hear

Speak now Jesus, speak into my heart
I am desperate to hear Your still small voice
I need to hear Your voice

The noise of life is overwhelming
Drowning out the truth that I need
Open up my ears to hear, open up my ears to hear

Speak now Jesus, speak into my heart
I am desperate to hear Your still small voice
I need to hear Your voice
Lead me Jesus, I need direction
I am so lost, without You guiding me.
I need to know Your peace.

When you speak I'll listen
Where you lead I'll go

Speak now Jesus, speak into my heart
I am desperate to hear Your still small voice
I need to hear Your voice
Lead me Jesus, I need direction
I am so lost, without You guiding me.
I need to know Your peace.

Insta-friday

this has been such a good week! I'm overwhelmed by God's goodness / grace / joy / mercy in my life. this weeks instagrams are just a reminder to me of how much I have to be thankful for!

"The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults, and with

my song I give thanks to him."

psalms 28 v 7

L to R

1. at WSM the other night everyone was wearing their TOMS.. love it!

2. our church just added a HUGE youth facilities & it opens in a few short week... I'm stoked to see what God has in store for this building... it gives me chills to think of the 100's of students that will soon pour in there & how the message of Jesus will be spoken over them!!

3. my twin semi-surprised me the other day & picked me up for lunch from work!!

4. one of my favorite tracks on the new Passion album is Sing Along, it's basically a prayer over everyone hurting in the world & when I was singing along to it I couldn't stop thinking of how it was nighttime in Thailand & praying that God would wrap His arms around the women/girls starting their shifts at the clubs/bars... seriously crushes my heart to think about the women I met in Thailand... keep praying for them.

5. this morning I was driving in the worst fog ever.. but made for a pretty photo :)

6. last night Linds & I went to visit Ange & her little Loves.. it was so great to just relax and chit-chat with her! I haven't seen/spent time with her in quit a while since her & the fam moved down town to their sweet little loft!! I feel super blessed to have a woman like her in my life... every girl needs wise godly women in their lives!! [read their story...God is so evident in their life]

7. YES I broke out my favorite sandy's... I just need to work on getting a pedi!

8. the final insta needs to explanation... but could have a huge part in my over flowing JOY :)

HAPPINESS!!!

hello sunshine! If you know me at all you know I despise winter/cold/snow ... being cold is the worst feeling ever. I LOVE the feeling of sun on my skin, grass under my feet and being able to go outside without having to put ten million layers on! this week has made me SO HAPPY! It's been 60's-70's, with thunderstorms and SUNSHINE!! Mich already had the lamest winter ever this year, so to have this kind of weather in mid-March is seriously God sent!! He knew my Aussie-thin skin couldn't handle a rigid Mich winter :)


hello white flag! Another thing that makes me very happy today is that the WHITE FLAG album came out this week!! every track gives me chills & reminds of how good God is. the worship leaders from Passion are very gifted, so you need to get your hands on this album. of course, this weather and album go perfectly together... once you buy the album, get in your car, cruise around town with all the windows down, turn the volume up all the way & sing as loud as you can... you won't regret it.

thanks Jesus for giving me a lot of JOY today!

week - end

Friday -

after work I was really looking forward to relaxing and the thought of doing nothing sounded very inviting. but since the rest of the fam had plans besides my brothers & I... I decided the boys & I should go out!! so we went to chomp for dinner, the dollar store for movie theatre snacks, and to see the Lorax! I love spending time with them, they crack me up & it makes me sad that they are so grown up now, they are still babies to me :( gotta value the time I have with them now, before they get too old to hang out with their older sister!!


Saturday -

I love having plans on the weekend, but if there's a Saturday with no agenda, I'm very keen! I spent three hours re-organizing my bedroom...sounds a bit over board, but I haven't really taken the time to get my room the way I want it since I've been home from Aus! And it was nice that I was in such a cleaning / organizing mood, it made the task enjoyable. I always wonder what my house will be like when I have my own family... my bedroom is rarely clean, but I LOVE cleaning and keeping things organized...other than my room?! It doesn't make sense I know....

after the cleaning kick wore off, I went to the Professional Bull Riding competition that was in town with some friends... what was I thinking!? totally not my scene but it was fun company and people watching :)


Sunday -

Since we lost a hour of sleep and got in super late, I may or may not have slept in way too late and didn't make it to church this AM... but it was nice to just relax! Sunday is a day of rest after all. It's also high 63, blue skies, and sunny today... so I'm naturally in a GREAT mood...! looking forward to WSM & Lighthouse tonight, the u-sh.

insta-Friday

Hopefully I'm not cheating if my insta's are from my week,
not just my friday :)

just a glimpse...

you must watch this... it gives me chills, everything about it; what God did that week, what we did as a generation and what is to come! you have to come to Passion conference 2013, if you haven't been... it will change your life, I promise.

commune

lets bother God w/
relentless prayer.
listen to podcast here.

sweet surrender?

God's teaching me A LOT lately that surrendering to Him is a daily thing... more like a minute-by-minute thing! I REALLY need to work on surrendering my plans, my thoughts, my dreams, my life... that's where closeness/oneness with Him comes. Whoever is reading this is probably thinking to themselves... duh! Well hello, way easier said than done & I'm learning to lean into Him. His ways are HIGHER, so why is it so hard to surrender!? It's difficult for a planner/perfectionist to live life with open hands... I know I am capable, I just have to hype myself up for it... like I did all the other times, Jesus I need Your help.

For my [dreams/desires for you]
are not your [dreams/desires],
neither are your [plans/agenda]
my [plans/agenda for you],
declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my [plans/agenda for you]
higher than your [plans/agenda]
and my [dreams/desires for you]
than your [dreams/desires].

Isaiah 55 v 8-9


[slightly] intimidating,
yet comforting nudge.

listen to this Truth

chains are broken
scales are on the floor
Truth is spoken
I'm no orphan anymore
I am loved
I am new again
and I am free
I'm no slave to sin.
I am all HE says I am.

PS is it REALLY March 1, 2012?!
Where is my life going...?