finding Hope

this week I started reading the book My Name Is Hope by John Mark Comer. he's a pastor at a church in portland & he has a great/easy-to-read/raw writing style...which is awesome, I'm cruising right through the book--huge strides I've made since high school, says the once I-hate-reading-tough-girl :) anyways, the book is great & he uses SO MUCH SCRIPTURE!! to me that's the best part, lots of "inspirational" books unfortunately don't use too much scripture, it's mainly just the authors opinion...so having lots of passages to reference & soak in is excellent! get this book... it's basically about what he has learned through his personal struggle with depression/anxiety & how he found the Light at the end of the tunnel... through the power of Christ, not just Zoloft.

you certainly don't have to be depressed or anxious to read it either...chances are there are people in your circle of life struggling, so it's just good insight all around. depression/anxiety is unfortunately very common today. it's time to stop letting satan steal our JOY that can only come from the Lord! Hope has come & is patiently waiting to walk us back to the Garden & restore our everlasting joy/peace!

*ps I feel super accomplished whenI do an entire post via my Blogger iphone app :)

God's supremacy.

At Passion, I reluctantly bought their digital all access pass -- judging it as a total money grab, I was sold once they said we would get a discounted rego fee for 2013. THANKFULLY that's not the only sweet thing about this special pass... it gives you the audio/video to each session! As they've been coming through I've been trying to take time to listen to each session, again... I seem to get HEAPS more out of something if I hear it a second, third, tenth time. With that being said, I leave you with two things; 1. YOU would be foolish to not pay $25 for this digital all access pass. 2. here are snippets from John Piper's talk on the supremacy of Christ...good stuff!

Seeing and savoring the supremacy of Jesus Christ frees you from the slavery of sin, for the sacrifices of love.



Being satisfied with all that God is for you in Jesus, frees you form the bondage of sin, for the suffering of love.



Faith in Jesus Christ frees you from the slavery of sin, for the sacrifices of love.

2 Corinthians 3 v 18
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

He is supreme over ALL things.
There's not a square inch on planet earth,
where Jesus Christ doesn't say, Mine.

Little hearts give little lusts, big power. Big hearts give little lusts little power -- because they look little. When you see the magnitude of your Treasure, your soul swells to get around it and you mock [insert sin here] as a powerless thrill.

*content & photo credit; John Piper & Passion

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Abba Father,

I give up, trying to be strong is not working any more. Only You can be the strong I need right now. I am done trying to be in control of this situation. I am done crying empty hopeless tears. Lead me toward love. Grant me wisdom, to speak over the situation. Let me talk/walk/live in Truth. Let my dry bones be replaced with life. Speak into the silence I hear. Soften my heart. Breath upon the lifeless. Bring fourth your Spirit and healing to this place. Take my heart back to the place where I was in constant awe of You. Forgive my heart of doubt. Let me rest in Your arms. I trust in Your protection/comfort/provision, I don't need anymore signs that You are who You say you are! I want to be near to Your heart. I can't do this on my own, hear my plea. Mend my broken heart. Bring life/joy/gladness back into this place. Show me Your glory. Never once have we ever walked alone, You are faithful, God You are faithful.

love,
Your daughter.

¹ Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ ALL this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4

sisterhood

powerful:nurturing:slow-to-speak:feminine:strong:hopeful:graceful
Think of Mary... she changed our world, when she birthed the Savior of the world. I'm curious to see/find what God has in store for the sisters/women in my sphere of influence. I want to change my world, I want us to change the world, together we can/will see... your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven!


"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come." PROV 31.25

[photo credit here]

...allure her

Do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast, if you weren't at Lighthouse on Sunday...excellent reminder of God's unconditional love & mercy on us!!

podcast here.

SHE is

...somebody's baby.

Phuket, Thailand : Bangla Rd.

This is the entrance to Bangla Rd, near Patong Beach. A closed street oozing with bars, women, tourists, fake designer things, tuk tuk's, curiosity, loud music, flashing lights, crowded walk ways, lust, drinks, drunks, shamefulness, brokenness, + searching.

Jon Foreman's song Somebody's Baby is about a homeless girls journey, filled with searching & always coming up empty...concluding that no matter where SHE has been or what SHE has done; SHE is still somebody's baby. SHE is the child of someone. SHE is the little girl, daughter, or sister of someone.

The lyrics remind me a lot of the women I met on Bangla Road. Each night we would go into the bars, buy a pop, and talk to our friends behind the bars, over a game of connect four or jenga.

No matter what their story is, where they have been, what they have done or seen, where they have come from or who they were with...they are somebody's baby still.

SHE is and will always be somebody’s baby. SHE is a child of the Most High. SHE is the prodigal daughter, wanting to come home and doesn't want to be homeless any more. SHE longs for love. SHE thinks money and the attention of a man will fulfill her void. SHE has dreams. SHE wants freedom. SHE searches and never finds.

SHE is not an object; SHE is a living, breathing human being. SHE is worth far more than rubies. Right now SHE has deceptive charm and fleeting beauty, longing to be restored. SHE is clothed with strength and dignity; SHE can laugh at the days to come.
[proverbs thirty-one]

SHE needs to embrace her daughter-hood. SHE needs to find refuge in her Father. SHE needs to run to His arms. SHE needs to come home, the only place where she will search and truly find.

pray, pray, pray & pray again
for the daughters on Bangla Road...

Somebody's Baby

photo credit ::
Elesha Atwood &Janie Giebelhaus

Not So Perfect People

We are all broken people in need of a Savior. After reading this meaty article on RelevantMagazine.com, I've been thinking a lot about how easily we hide brokenness. Especially after personally being broken before God and witnessing so many others with brokenness in their lives this week. We live in a broken and imperfect world, therefore all of man is broken. In all of us is something that makes us broken,"poverty and being gay and worship and money and porn and sex and depression and abuse." [the list goes on; hardship, personal struggles, divorce, addiction, pride, arrogance]

We can individually recognize that we are broken. For some reason, we've adopted the mentality that EVERYONE else around us at church is okay and seemingly perfect! How did we come to this conclusion, more so why? Christ didn't die for PERFECT people?! If we were perfect, Christ wouldn't have had to die in the first place. We look at how messed up our life is at present and hold it locked inside. We paint on our smiles every Sunday morning (or night), when asked how we're doing we nod and say good. Are we REALLY good?! It's this scary cycle of beating around the bush until we (hopefully) crack. We try to appear as perfect people. How exhausting, always trying to polish the outside, when our insides are decaying away. Always trying to be perfect gets old quick, yet we've all gotten really good at it. Jesus didn't hang out with perfect people. He surrounded himself with the people that had issues and USED THEM! After all, Christ died for the UNGODLY.

I can recall times in my life where I've felt brokenness in my life and begged God for courage to bring it to the table. I would tell myself, okay this is it, I'm going to come forward, this has to get off my chest. I would constantly talk myself out of it, in fear that I would be judged by fellow Jesus followers. If you feel that confessing your brokenness will make you feel ashamed or embarrassed...think about how ashamed and embarrassed Christ was when he WORE all of your shame on the cross. Instead of feeling ashamed feel empowered! Christ is then ready to USE you. I feel that part of the issue with us not wanting to confess our brokenness comes from being too comfortable and viewing grace as a get out jail free card. We must desire to be used by God, which can be a scary thought but it's the step we must take to follow Jesus fully.

The key here is honesty and authenticity. We have to break down the walls that make people feel less than for being broken. We have to put an end to this tendency of "having it all together". None of us have it all together. Sharing brokenness welcomes; prayer, encouragement, weight lifted, accountability, grace, mercy, and love.

To combat brokenness within the Church we must get on our knees. Ask God to reveal broken parts of your heart. Once we can recognize the brokenness of our own heart, ask God to come into it that dark, yet never hidden part of our heart. He is and will always be the healer and deliver, He longs to see your broken heart restored. Also pray that God would make you available and approachable to those around you with broken and messy hearts. God has a history of successful heart transplants, allow Him to operate on you today! It's going to be uncomfortable and the healing might take longer than hoped for, but lasting results are promised.

YOUR BLOOD IS ENOUGH TO BREAK EVERY CHAIN.

testing times

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I tend to ramble...

_______________________________________

Pretty much the last few days I've probably went to write a post, ehh.... maybe five times and every time SOMETHING has come up or gotten in the way of me even desiring to finish the post or has caused me to delete it all together. There's been times in the past, where this has happened from lack of creativity, but this time it's different... it's literally as if I'm being attacked by the Enemy...it's not as if, I know it's the Enemy. He only comes to steal, kill and destroy...and that's exactly what he's trying to do. I don't mean that he's attacking my writing ability...okay maybe he is, cause I don't think this is making sense now!? But I mean in my life right now I'm coming against a lot of weird//strange attacks that are not of God. It's making me not feel like myself. Does that make sense?

J o h n 10:10
{The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;}


Like clock work it has been happening since I first mentioned out loud wanting to apply to YWAM//Big-things-for-God [dreaming big for once], it's been one thing after another... little things happening that are making me doubt, question, get annoyed, get off track, and make me think how much easier it would be if I just totally canned the YWAM//Big-things-for-God idea all together, went back to school in the fall and followed the American Dream. It's SO frustrating. Especially because I feel strongly about being called to YWAM and everyone in my life feels the same way.

On the flip side, since expressing REAL interest in YWAM//B-t-f-G... I've had some REALLY good and positive GOD things//changes happen. Where I've really seen God move in mysterious ways and have experienced true healing from Him [through friends & family, watershed, lighthouse, church]... but then again, right after the "good stuff"...the "bad stuff" comes back...maybe it's just me? maybe it's hormones? I don't know, but I do know it is the Enemy, trying to weasel in and cause me to become stubborn, lazy, doubt-filled and settle for an ordinary life.

It's reminding me a lot of the series we did at lighthouse a few months back called LIVE EVIL. The premise was basically that where ever and when ever there is something that is "LIVE" [GOOD, ALIVE, OF GOD]... the EVIL [BAD, DEAD, NOT OF GOD] is right behind it. In shadows of GOOD there's BAD. This would be a good example of God's divine t e s t i n g. HE is obviously molding, crafting, and stretching me these past few weeks...

Umm, HELLO testing .... I've seen testing of temptations more than ever, testing of patience, testing of full reliance on God, testing of trust, testing of perseverance's, testing, testing, testing = attack, after attack.

{...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.}

I KNOW God is at work and so is the Enemy... it's a spiritual battle... I can't say I've actually personally experienced it like this before. A constant spiritual game of tug-of-war...I'm glad there's is HOPE!

All that to say... I'm under a spiritual attack right now, over a matter of weeks I've seen my self go from one season, drastically right into the next season. This season is titled : testing. And all I can do is push through and pray to God that I can be strong and courageous.

A friend just texted me this verse....how fitting...

H e b r e w s 2:18
Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

....Thank you Jesus for sticking with me and being in the middle of my messy life...

Z e p h a n i a h 3:17
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

HOPE for Hope.

This is Hope. She came into this world fighting a fight she didn’t chose. Born with HIV AIDS in remote Ethiopia, Hope wasn’t cared for the way she needed to be; that’s when God moved in the hearts of a loving family, in hopes that they could adopt. Their hopes came true and Hope was adopted. Now she is able to get the medicine and upbringing needed to live as normal and healthy of a life as she can.

I met Hope two summers ago while ministering at Camp Barnabas. As ignorant as it sounds, I was a tad apprehensive the day I found out that I would be working with a child with HIV AIDS. Growing up unfamiliar with the disease and only exposed to the media’s hyped up awareness, I had no idea what to expect. I knew I couldn’t “catch it” or anything, but for some reason I still felt hesitant to work with a child with this disease.

The day came after all of the training and prepping when the campers made it to camp and I finally got to meet Hope. From the moment Hope walked into the cabin, there was something radiant about this 8-year-old girl. From the get-go all she seemed to know how to do was bring a smile to everyone’s face, forgetting she was even sick.

This radiance about her was HOPE. You could tell that Hope had HOPE. Though she was sick, the HOPE she had made her even her forget–for a moment–that she was sick. For one week, Hope showed me what HOPE looks like.

HOPE is… taking your (what seems endless) medicine without complaining.
HOPE is… smiling & laughing.
HOPE is… living life to our fullest potential & receiving Jesus’ LOVE & MERCY.
HOPE is… real & lasts.

Hope has HOPE… in spite of her earthly circumstance. Do you find true HOPE in the midst of your trials and pain? Do you see HOPE in your daily life? Hope has HOPE in her life; I hope you do to.