I AM FREE

this has felt like the longest week & weekend ever. I completed high school - finally. which came with, having to turn all these petty final projects, papers and assignments & crazy times at school...so it has been fun, but stressful at times. but the stressful times were comforted with delightful bbq's and sitting around fires with friends and family. I am so blessed

stranger to change

changeverb: to make the form, nature, content,
future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is
or from what it would be if left alone.

---

change is a word & action I hate. I like being comfortable. It's not really a good characteristic or quality to have. I like routine and keeping things the way they are. but then again, I guess it depends on the situation.

change has become the story (or a new chapter if you will) of my life in the past month! My family and I have moved from the house I grew up in for the last 18 years...and the last 21 years for my parents. It was quit sad actually. I miss everything about my old house; smells, textures, feeling of being home, sounds, colors, coziness, set up, yard, ect. So yeah, it's been hard but our new house is cute - but it doesn't feel like home yet...it's been about two weeks and I still feel like I am at a family members or a friends house....it's weird, a whole new experience. another change is that I am three days shy of being done with high school FOREVER! this change is a change I have actually been looking forward to for some time now though no more bells ringing, nagging teachers, crowded hallways, mean liberians, rich kids, the smell of pot in the parking lot every morning, lockers slamming...the list goes on...and I'm not going to miss it. I know college is still school too, but the schedule, rules and people aren't as rigid. I'm so ready to be able to move on with my life and go where I want to go, do what I want to do...

30 hour famine

so I realized I never updated about 30 hour famine
...it was like two weekends ago!

in a nut shell my youth group [WSM] didn't eat for 30 hours to raise money & awareness of world hunger. all together (with government agencies matching our amount) we raised over $70,000! during our time of hunger we did crazy group games, had amazing worship till the early morning, watched Hotel Rwanda, made tent/box villages to sleep in,almost no sleep, drank a lot of water & gatorade, did hours of work in Detroit and spent time with the people there...all to build up to a celebration of food - aka a really nice dinner.

MOODY BIBLE INSTITUTE

I got into Moody Bible Institute.

only catch, not the Chicago campus - the Spokane, WA campus

So needless to say God closed that door.

_____________________________________________

tentative plan b/dream #2
two years at community college to save money so I can move out.

after the two years, me and my sister plan on moving to tennessee to finish school there

(not sure where yet), then hopefully live in the nashville area

to pursue a career in the music business.

thoughts thoughts thoughts

• Today I was flipping through People magazine and Melissa Joan Hart was wearing a dress I have! Only difference is that I paid the discounted price of $30 at tj Maxx and she probably got it right from the designer.

• Yesterday, seeing that Sunday is the day of rest, I took a two and half hour nap that was truly delightful! Although, the real icing on the cake was I then went to be bed quit early for a 'school night' anyway - so needless to say, today wasn't as hard as I thought!

• Okay, I never know whether to believe in karma or not, but then again alot of times what goes around, does come back around...so I guess I'll have to wait and see. The reason I wonder is because, today something unfortunate and embarrassing happened to another team member, but me and my co-woker proceeded to laugh so hard we were crying - so who knows what's going to happen to us next time :)

• Oh yes, I am also thrilled that my sister will most likely be moving downtown for the summer & I cannot wait to spend time at her place in the city, with all the people, lights, and sounds.6. Sometime this week I will FINALLY hear back from Moody...I am still unclear on where God wants me next year for school..?? - pray, pray, pray

*DREAM = desire_faith_action

spring break

*what a relaxing spring break.
instead of heading to sandy beaches I stayed home
to hang out with lovely friends and make money

random odds & ends

update:

I don't really ever have time to watch tv series,

but when I do have time I make sure not to
miss an elimination, runway walk, or photo shoot ..
it's almost as ridiculous as following any other reality tv program!

I had my last first day at Groves.
we started our third & FINAL trimester of 2008.
and if I do say so myself, I was dealt a extremely
easy stress free schedule:

1st hr: geology
2nd hr: psychology
----open lunch----
3rd hr: school store/management
4th hr: marketing/advertising
5th hr: teachers aid/independent study
_2 months,
17 days remaining

I've been working so much lately I can't even handle it,
the customers aren't always that polite, I am constantly answering
the same questions, and I can't eat any more desserts or baked goods!

tomorrow night is the 2nd annual
IFCawards
[independent film channel]
...and I am excited!

enjoy the warm
[it's getting there]
weather*

TRUE LOVE

favorite quote.

"she confronted her fears and doubts by telling herself repeatedly that she still had reason for hope -- that her past did not have to define her future."

music to my ears

Christa Black: so I've been listening to her for awhile now
- and I love her music, just so happens I was listening to her today & so I thought I would share

link to her space or go on itunes :)

new

NEWYEAR:
newstarts
newpeople
newplaces
newplans.

---

to my dismay, this year hasn't been going where I wanted it, for reasons I don't need to go into. but this year isn't mine, it's Gods - and it will go & do what He wants. therefore, this is where I impatiently sit back, be still, be quiet, and trust in Him alone.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas?

It doesn't feel like Christmas!
Probably because I've been working so much!!
I am on break, and am very excited to see everyone
and spend time with my family whom I love.
A friend taught me to not take for granite
the time I have with the ones I love,
and what better time to do that than the Christmas season?

Christmas time again!

new classes, still waiting, still praying, more work, accomplishments, new friends, good family time, Christmas cookies & décor.

Merry almost Christmas.

love the Fillmores

thanksgiving

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

I have a lot to write about, not enough time in a day.
This week/weekend has been crazy & stressful, in a good way!
All I have to say is, thank God for family & the state police.
This upcoming week is going to be even crazier though.
I am FINALLY sending in my Moody application.
And I have to take finals and go to work....busy busy busy.

* pictures here or here

life is good.

yay!

I'm going four hours down shouth tomorrow.
with the two that are closest to me.
to reunite with long lost friends.
I am so stoked - I can't even wait!
and I have a good book to read,
to make the time pass quickly.

also I am so happy that it's the holiday season.
holiday as in Thanksgiving and Christmas.
trust me I hate when people say "happy holidays".
its okay to say Merry Christmas.
I love the music that's played twenty-four seven.
the need for sweaters, scarfs, and coats.
but as soon as that white stuff comes, I'm not as thrilled.
good thing this time of year isn't about myself.
it's about being thankful for - everything I am blessed with.
and Jesus coming to this earth.

happy 21 years mom and dad

cheers*

God of Justice

read & listen to the words of this song

God of Justice, Savior to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served
Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

honesty

realizations from my heart:

• God is truly amazing and I don't trust Him like I should.
  
• When I am having a "bad day" someone else is having it worse.
  
• I have friends and family I don't deserve, whom I feel I take advantage of.
  
• Often times feel sorry for myself and don't take action - missing God given opportunities.
  
• My sin cannot go on any longer, and it's up to me to run away from it.
  
• God has blessed so much & I am so greatful.
  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
-james 1:2-8

hmmmm

con·tra·dic·tion
direct opposition between things
compared; inconsistency.

---

1.) I thought it was so cool that a girl in my health class was wearing a LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT t-shirt, from TWOHA. When I realized that the girl sitting right behind her had an uncountable number of scares on her arm, where she has/had suffered and struggled with self mutilation. I felt so sad, but to uneasy to strike up a conversation.

2.) Though I may complain about school, I feel like I am truly going to miss my comfortable, practically care free lifestyle I have been blessed to with. When I think of school in general, I love it but I hate it. And I can't believe or grasp the fact that in scarce amount of months I will have to take one final step in my high school - wondering what kind of impact I have made on my classmates and teachers.

3.) My job is going really great, I love the people I work with, I get really flexible hours, the pay is so good, everyone is so pleasant and happy to be there, ect. - but I hate being tired and piled up with homework every night .

4.) Last but not least, I can't stand being in photography class! I say lets stick with digital, old school is to much work. And there's not enough time actually behind a camera lens, which is my favorite part. Yet, one of my most enjoyable hobbies is photography.

peace till next time

what's new.

I got a new job (FINALLY! - praise God!).
I sell bread, coffee, and expensive desserts to cute old people.
- what could be better!?
my last "spirit week" was so fun, I actually had fun at school for once.

simple

I went to a delightful wedding ceremony today
of two great friends and mentors
I can't waiT to get married how fun will that be!
I didn't take any pictures I don't know what I was thinking.

- e n j o y what's left of warm weather

summer skin

OLD SCHOOL SPRINKLER.

my summer at camp =

hard work

amazing

long days

shaving parties

good times

new friends

kind actions

new goals

a genesis

laughing hard

sharing

going to the beach

dirty feet

bathing suite tan

buddy check

staff raft

getting bug bites

lake ann hugs

learning patience

cowboy chicken conquer

praising God

"a place to discover
life at its best."

leaving ...

up at camp for the summer.

write, e-mail, or facebook me...I don't think I'll be checking this.

good stuff

I was reading this passage and then it hit me,
that this is how I haven't been living.
God, grant me strength, to become more like You!

---

Philippians 2

"[1] If you have any encouragement from being united
with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship
with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
[2] then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the
same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

[3] Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in
humility consider others better than yourselves.

[4] Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.

[5] Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

[6] Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

[7]but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

[8]And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

[9]Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,

[10]that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

[11]and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."

finally!! ... dream coming true

   So today I ran all around school trying to get the final form needed to work at Lake Ann, but I did it! I am working at Lake Ann this summer. I can't even belive it!! I have been dreaming of working there ever since I starting going to camp there -  in the 5th grade! ha

OK so I am making a really cool picture frame picture in photography
...I can't wait till its done!

sorry for such a boring entry...!