sun + moon

If you are the sun
then I wanna be the moon
I wanna reflect the light that shines from you
And if this is war
Then I'm gonna draw my sword
This time I know what I am fighting for

God I wanna let you know
I want everything you are
I'm waiting for the morning light to show
a fire in the dark

Shine your light, I wanna feel you now
God I need a miracle
Take my heart, make it glow
Shine your light from the inside out
I wanna be more like you
If you are the sun, I wanna be the moon
I wanna be the moon

If love is a choice
Then I need you to hear my voice
I'm the one knocking on your door making all this noise
Whatever it takes
I give it all away
I wanna show my love in a thousand ways

God I wanna let you know
I love everything you are
I'm waiting for the morning light to show
a fire in the dark

Shine your light, I wanna feel you now
God I need a miracle
Take my heart, make it glow
Shine your light from the inside out
I wanna be more like you
If you are the sun, I wanna be the moon

I can't live a single day without you
I don't even want to try
And I won't take another step without your light
I need your light

Shine your light, I wanna feel you now
God I need a miracle
Take my heart, make it glow
Shine your light from the inside out
I wanna be more like you
If you are the sun, I wanna be the moon

If you are the sun
then I wanna be the moon
I wanna reflect the light that shines from

whoa-eekend.

This weekend was jam-packed!

Friday... heaps of work! wsm girl hang out... lots of giggles, chocolate, pinterest, & conversing.

Saturday... spent the day downtown, repairing an old DPS - turned church & youth outreach center... long nap... massive grocery shopping trip... date with my twin, classic dinner & bumming around Target.

Sunday... church/worship... excellent message on trusting God for our needs... huge/scary snow fall, making driving a nightmare... long arvo setting up for kairos small group kick-off dinn dinn... a huge success... I'm so excited to see what God had in store for each group starting up :)

*first ever post via my Blogger App!

sex, marriage & fairytales

realizing God's value.

my life in a nutshell:

God blessed me with a seemingly perfect childhood. I really never experienced a horrific life altering event as a kid. My parents never got divorced. I went to private school for elementary and middle school. I knew what was wrong and what was right. I've been going to church since the womb, I know all the answers, I always seem to have it all together. I memorized the fruits of the Spirit, thanks to Steve Green sing-a-longs. I managed to struggle my way through AWANA. In high school I went to all of the youth group events / small groups / retreats. I was pretty naive about things when I went to high school. I wasn't really popular in my public high school, but at church I always seemed to be in the "cool" group. I prided myself in staying out of trouble and would judge the trouble makers. I’ve never actually been on a date before; making it pretty easy to stay out of trouble with boys. I never snuck out of the house. I never partied or drank illegally. I didn't dress like I was easy, because my mom wouldn't let me. And I only listened to Christian music, of course!

My story may not seem thrilling or exciting, but I can't discredit the story that He gave me. Just because I haven't turned down certain roads, doesn't mean God didn't still have to SAVE me! I was born a SINNER, in DESPERATE need of a Savior… still in need of grasping God's VALUE for me. After all, behind my clean/polished church self, was a very broken, depressed, and hopeless girl. As Lecrae would say I was “eating on some secret sin” … holding all of my sins and problems deep down inside of me; it made me be become a really good hypocrite too. UNTIL I stepped back, let Jesus step into my life and truly REALIZED HIS value for me.

here are 5 revelations that helped me,

REALIZE God’s VALUE for me :::

1. I REALIZED God’s VALUE for me, once I understood that I had…

VICTORY over all of my dirty / hidden / embedded / embarrassing / nasty SIN.

Jesus died to bring us to life! If we remain dead in our sins, we can't be fully used by Him. In is death brought victory over our sin, through faith/trust in Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 2:4 ... we were ONCE living in darkness, BUT GOD [He steps in] being RICH in MERCY because of the great love with which he LOVED us even when we were DEAD in our SIN made us ALIVE together with CHRIST—by GRACE YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED---and raised up with HIM and seated with HIM in the heavenly places.

IF you’re currently living in sin, run from it NOW, because your SIN WILL find YOU OUT… so why not start LIVING in FREEDOM right now!?

2. I REALIZED God’s VALUE for me once I understood that I have the…

ABILITY to carry out HIS plans…

The only way you will be equipped and ABLE to carry our HIS plans for you, is by DOING THEM! If you feel like God is calling you to do something, DO IT! He put a call on EACH of your life and has given you the ABILITY to carry our very specific/unique plans...NO ONE’S PLANS ARE THE SAME, so STOP COMPARING yourself.

+If someone told me ten years ago I would travel to AUSTRALIA by myself, God would shake my life upside down and then take me to Thailand to minster to women enslaved by the sex industry, I would have probably laughed in their face! BUT God knew, and HE knew I would be ABLE to carry out EXACTLY what He had planned.

Ephesians 3:20 … Now to him who is ABLE to do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine.

He will do MORE than we can imagine once we use our ABILITIES to fearlessly proclaim His name to all the world.

3. I REALIZED God’s VALUE for me once I forgot about the…

LIES that this world tries to feed me...

The world’s definition of everything is warped. Beauty in God's economy is very different than the world, we are conditioned from an early age that we have to be PHYSICALLY perfect to get a Prince Charming or a happy life with Ken. This is in fact a LIE. We think that living the American Dream will bring us lasting joy, fulfillment and happiness, FALSE.

1 Timothy 6:7-8 ... Nothing of this world will last, be content with the basics!

1 Samuel 16:7 ... Do not look on her appearance or on the height of her stature, because I have rejected her. For the LORD sees not as the WORLD sees: THE WORLD looks at her outward appearance, but the LORD looks at her heart!

We are all going to be wrinkly and saggy one day, so worry more about WHAT will last and that is YOUR heart! Your status will not bring you joy, only Jesus can give you true joy & satisfaction.

4. I REALIZED God’s VALUE for me once I accepted His…

UNCONDITIONAL love…

This means HE loves me WITHOUT conditions! I can’t do anything to deserve HIS love. He JUST LOVES, no matter what I say or do, HE LOVES ME.

1 John 4:19 ... WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US.

John 3:16 ... For GOD SO LOVED the world, that HE gave HIS only Son, that whoever believes in HIM will not perish.

His LOVE for us is evident ALL OVER SCRIPTURE, read the BIBLE as if it’s a LOVE LETTER from the world’s most ATTRACTIVE LOVER.

5. I REALIZED God’s VALUE for me once I started to …

EMBRACE HIS VALUE…

CLAIM IT, WALK IN HIS VALUE. YOU ARE HIS FAVORITE. You are HIS most PRIZED possession. This is all just HEAD knowledge until WE EMBRACE IT. Tell yourself every morning in the mirror that YOU ARE HIS FAVORITE. YOU ARE HIS MOST VALUED CREATION.

Psalm 139:13 ... YOU KNIT ME TOGETHER… I praise YOU because I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made.

Song of Solomon 6:3 ... I am my beloved and my beloved is MINE!

You are HIS. Embrace these truths. You’ve been ADOPTED into HIS kingdom, EMBRACE the VALUE He places on you! Apply it to your life.

experience grace / accept grace.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us ALIVE together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2 v 1-10

+ as children of God, we experience grace on a daily basis -- every morning we wake up to new mercies and second chances. have we really accepted this grace though? or do we just rely/live off of countless second chances? have we truly repented and turned from our sin? have we surrendered to Grace? until we clear/confess out our embedded sin, run away from it and give up our rights to a selfish life... we will have really accepted grace.

"Fragments of brokenness
Salvaged by the art of grace
You craft life from our mistakes
A second chance is heaven's heart
Countless second chances
We've been [freely] given at the Cross"

journal roster.

It's a new year, lots of new things, including JOURNALS! the older I've gotten the more serious I've become about journal-ing...I tend to forget important details in my old age :) So here we go 2012 ::: journal 1. personal prayer journal; basically a journal between God & I, lots praises and requests... lots of forgiveness and joy goes into this one. 2. quiet time journal; in 2012 I'm trying to be more intentional about dissecting God's Word, via a journal to write, recite and memorize things. 3. to-my-future-spouse journal... in high school I tried to start a journal to my future husband and it never got kept up with... in 2012 I want to be more intentional about praying for my future husband and sharing thoughts/prayers with him, to one day have him look back on. I'm excited for new exciting adventures/seasons to be written in these journals.cheers to 2012 journal-ing!

fighting for freedom

whoa!... I went to Passion Conference last week. the theme was freedom. freedom for anyone and everyone. freedom in Christ. freedom from sin. freedom from slavery. freedom for the voiceless. freedom for the nameless. freedom for the faceless. in God's economy, everyone has a chance for freedom. [where the SPIRIT of the LORD is, THERE IS freedom]

the conference was fighting for two realms of freedom; spiritual & physical.

God taught me so much. every time a session ended I walked out dumb founded. it's not like I've never heard these truths before, this time it was just different. God seriously shook me to the core! He turned my heart inside out. I truly grasped His idea of freedom/grace, more than I ever have before.

the conference opened with a half-hour or so of spoken Word.! 44,000 people reading out loud different Bible passages, over and over again, Truth being proclaimed through this massive stadium... chills! of course the worship was amazing. the speaking was so captivating, hearing these speakers, who are all basically known around the world, share their hearts for this generation and fighting for freedom of those being held captive spiritually/physically was literally breath-taking. seeing an older generation, proud of this generation was also very humbling. God's hand was clearly over the entire week.... I don't really know how one could have sat through the sessions or worship with out sensing the Holy Spirit.! the presence of God was so tangible, lives/hearts were definitely transformed.

to make the massive sea of people seem smaller, they split everyone into 20 community groups of 2,000+, from there you got into family groups of 8! when they told us this at registration, the girls & I were so stoked! it was sweet to have a chance to connect with other college students from around the country... all finding/fighting for the same freedom. it was awesome to see God move through our family group & community group! very thankful for a sense of community amongst that many people.

with the idea of [freedom] as the running theme, we managed to raise 3 million+ dollars to help local/national/international organizations aid in ending human trafficking/modern slavery! we got to hear real-life stories of trafficking raids, hope, and heart-shattering statistic. today 27 million HUMAN beings [a story/ a face / a life] are enslaved!? His prized possessions, enslaved. His masterpieces, taken advantage of. His workmanship, chained.

a lot of times I'll hear people give the excuse that they can't help end slavery because they can't identify.. hello! we are/were all slaves! we were once enslaved by sin, until Salvation came into the picture. true freedom is only found in the HOPE of Jesus. we are all slaves to sin, until we raise our white flag to Jesus and surrender ALL to Him. Jesus' desire is that none of His prized possessions would be enslaved any longer... read the entire of Ephesians.




basically the whole week gave me chills:::

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

>MAJESTY stepped into our mess

>I am offended by [your sin],
but I am not afraid of your humanity - JESUS

>HE intersected us at the right time,
in the middle of our funeral procession...
bringing us back to LIFE

YOU REVIVE ME.
YOU TURNED MY DESERT,
INTO RIVERS OF JOY.

>You cannot be unclean enough
to make a mess out of Him

>He is clean enough for all of us,
Your faith leads to healing

DO SOMETHING NOW.
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME,
TO NOT ACT NOW.

>Being satisfied with Christ frees you,
from the bondage of sin...
by trusting, seeing, savoring

>It must be a desire, not just a decision

>Make the Name of Christ be your sight, savor satisfaction, desire, & trust

BLIND PEOPLE DON'T DECIDED TO SEE
-- WE DON'T DECIDE TO BE FREE,
HE DECIDED TO COME SET US FREE.

[Praying search my heart / Holy Spirit search my heart / As I draw nearer, Jesus be clearer / Cause Your Word will shine a light on my life, and I'll see You / Show Your face / Jesus, would You show Your face / As I draw nearer, Jesus be clearer / Jesus would You show Your face / As I draw nearer, Jesus clearer]

>We were raised from the dead,
given authority & now have to do something with it.

>We are being set up for a destination unknown to us,
fully known by the Creator of the Universe

>proclaim His name
f e a r l e s s l y .

>Brokenness doesn't disqualify you,
it fully qualifies you!

"that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." _ EPHESIANS 6v19-20
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* feeling overwhelmingly blessed to have been a part of such a movement.

december !

December::: quality family time / Christmas parties / work / lots of babysitting / cookie baking / pressies / hand-made-craft show / weddings / mom-sister dates / lights / candles / chilled new years eve / JESUS!

au revoir

As December 1st is approaching I can't help but think about how close 2012 is!! With that in mind, I have come to the conclusion to remove myself from facebook & blogs for the month of December. I spend way too much time reading through statuses, liking photos & catching up on my favorite blogs. God help me, I'm going to try my best to utilize this month for giving thanks to God for the year 2011...as this has clearly been a year to remember, I want to be ready & equipped for the new year of adventures/seasons to come. By fasting from these social outlets, I pray that God would bless me with a clear vision, humble & thankful heart as we head into 2012.

au revoir 2011...
see you in 2012

identity crisis?

Tonight I was overwhelmed, while scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. It caught my eye that so many teenage girls have over air brushed profile pictures of themselves. There must be some major identity crisis' taking place. I am of course, found guilty for painting on my face every morning (and more so when I go to a fancy event). It's not that make-up or looking good is bad, it's not being able to anywhere without make-up on OR getting stuck in the mind set that your true identity is only found in your outward appearance..

Why do teenage girls Picnik their beauty away anyways!? It makes me so sad, that women in general think they must paint their face on to be beautiful. Women long to know, "am I beautiful?" We think the only way to get the answer we are looking for is by applying heaps of make-up on. That is in fact a lie.

I think it's about time Satan stops over-taking media & brain washing females into thinking they are only beautiful as COVER GIRL's painted with foundation & eye liner or over-airbrushed-Picnik-pixally-cheaper-versions of themselves. Lies. Lies. Lies. Satan is full of it. Girls, don't believe these STUPID lies! Wash your make-up off and look in the mirror & tell yourself you're beautiful with or without make-up on! You are perfect in His eyes, no one else opinions should matter or form your ill thought processes of what you think of yourself.

"For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 sam 16.7

Once you take the mask off, you'll find that people will STILL think you're beautiful, without over correcting your Facebook profile picture on Picnik, I promise :)

confession.

edit: 30 minutes after post // Satan, I will not believe lies you feed me! Get behind me. I am His and He is mine, made in His image. The world tried to define woman-hood, but I will not conform. I am who I am, because of I AM. Amen. * thank you Jesus for blessing me with sisters to remind me who I am & speak truth into me.

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17

confession:
I wish I was more girlie.
Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me! Tonight we went to the mall to bum around and I had a revelation, I wish I was more feminine/girlie. Every time we go to the mall, I try to have fun, I'm not adventurous when making purchases, I don't get excited about things in Anthropologie, I never wear earrings, I hardly know how to do my hair & make-up, I hate babysitting, I love cuddly babies -- but I'm really awkward at holding them, it takes a lot for me to cry, I don't know how to braid hair, I'm not crafty, I can't doodle, and generally just not girlie :( I want to be more girlie... but every time I try, it doesn't work! How am I ever going to be a decent wife/mother!? #help

sisters, in need of rescue.

Unearthing Sexual Exploitation from Unearthed on Vimeo.

forward motion

This week I have been thinking about Australia way too much. I miss it SO much, it's paralyzing. It makes me wish my life away. I can't keep looking in the rear view mirror and it's so frustrating! I'm trying to make forward motion, but it sucks! It's going to be hard & difficult. Then I'm reminded that this time last year, my forward motion to Australia was hard & difficult. Hopping across the pond for six months seems like cake compared to what God has for me next. I can't dwell on the past if I want to move forward!! The next mountain I want to get over is going to take the same kind of trust, faith, and strength it took to go to Australia... I need to replace my mourning for Australia and be empowered to go above and beyond towards the next mountain... because with
HIM nothing is impossible.

With man this is impossible,
but with God all things are possible.
MATTHEW 19:26

Jesus, give me more faith that YOU can move mountains...
I shouldn't need anymore signs, I think sending me to
Australia & Thailand is a big enough sign.
Just give me more faith.

sick day

sick = illness
today is the best day to be sick, it's dark & pouring rain. chasing after a sore / scratchy throat - runny nose - coughing - sneezing - achy - warm - tired body with heaps of hot tea & tissue.


sick = rad
today marks 25 years of marriage for my parents! 25 years is a long time. I'm happy they got married & decided to stay married, even through not so merry times. God has been so faithful through their 25 years and I know He will remain faithful for the next 25 years...as they have remained faithful to each other.

HAPPY 11/11/11

11 thoughts.

1. I am currently obsessed with Michael Buble's Christmas album, I highly recommend listening to it on Spotify or buying it on iTunes.

2. I am REALLY thankful for the friends -- people God blessed me with to do life with.

3. It makes me excited that my church is passionate about being a church on mission... therefore they are hosting a missions conference this weekend, I'm pretty stoked about it!

4. Today is my sisters 1 year anniversary with her lovely boyfriend!! Cheers to them!!

5. Today I taught a four year old how to say "hello" & "thank-you" in Thai.

6. There is way more to life than what your bank account says.

7. I love that my job is for a cause greater than myself... it's the first job where I'm not working to create revenue.

8. Today in honor of the date... you can get a year of Relevant Magazine for only $11.00!

9. Lately I have to remind myself A LOT that I could have it wost than I currently do...someone is ALWAYS having a worst day than you...remember that.

10. The best kept secret is dirty hair...

11. This is the Bible verse, from the 11th book of the Bible, 11th chapter...

The guards, each with weapon in hand, stationed themselves around the king—near the altar and the temple, from the south side to the north side of the temple. 2 Kings 11:11

so sus.

Sus is Australian slang for, suspicious.

It's common sense right that nothing you do online is hidden, right? Therefore it shouldn't come as a surpise that anyone reading this is tracked to an extent, right? Ever since I started my blog I've had a tracker that tells me where a viewer is from & the duration of their visit. Semi for wonders sake, semi for safety and semi for reassurance that I have an audience :)

Which brings me to my very sus situation... (and now whoever is viewing this will be found out!) Ha. I only know a hand full of people from Canada and none of them live in Ontario... so WHO in the world is CONSTANTLY viewing my blog posts!?

Now you see why I'm so sus... should I be concerned? should I be flattered?! It's wierd & creepy... literally some days they view it every hour... because I'm such a worrywart, I looked into password locking my blog, but you can't do that on blogger. Lame, right!

Anyways, I'm probably just making a mountain out of a molehill....

hodge-poge

1. I'm in the middle of drafting a HUGh-MUNG-Oh update on what God has been teaching me... it makes me excited & gives me chills.

2. The other day I was reading my journal from this year, looking back on this year also gives me chills... I still can't believe what has happened in this short span of time! God has be so evident, His fingerprints are all over my journal... including the Aussie flower I smuggled into the US... don't call Homeland Security on me!

3. I saw this on TMFS [warning: addictive time waster] the other day. Hopefully my future husband is thinking this, one day... because I'm totally keen :)

4. As the weather is changing, I'm missing Australian summer.

5. Did I mention I L-O-V-E my new admin job!? I seriously can't believe I get to do what I do!? God is so good. This weekend I got to connect with heaps of people from the ministry I've never met before...it was so great!

6. Though the bitter weather is coming, I do enjoy the signs & sounds of the coming holiday seasons!! Including the red cups from Starbucks.

7. A friend of mine down unda' sent this to me the other day.. it made my day!

the end.

word.

- Oswald Chambers.

John 16:33

I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world

prov. 31:25

untitled

Abba Father,

I give up, trying to be strong is not working any more. Only You can be the strong I need right now. I am done trying to be in control of this situation. I am done crying empty hopeless tears. Lead me toward love. Grant me wisdom, to speak over the situation. Let me talk/walk/live in Truth. Let my dry bones be replaced with life. Speak into the silence I hear. Soften my heart. Breath upon the lifeless. Bring fourth your Spirit and healing to this place. Take my heart back to the place where I was in constant awe of You. Forgive my heart of doubt. Let me rest in Your arms. I trust in Your protection/comfort/provision, I don't need anymore signs that You are who You say you are! I want to be near to Your heart. I can't do this on my own, hear my plea. Mend my broken heart. Bring life/joy/gladness back into this place. Show me Your glory. Never once have we ever walked alone, You are faithful, God You are faithful.

love,
Your daughter.

¹ Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ ALL this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4

cuts deep.

venting machine

#frustrated #jaded #annoyed #irritated #overwhelmed #vent #helpmeJesus

1. I don't understand why money doesn't grow on trees...?! It would make life a lot easier.

2. I'm very curious what God is trying to teach me while I'm living at home. It's basically the worst thing ever right now, I can't handle it! My family would be happier if I moved out & I have no business still living at home. Of course I am currently not making enough to move out. It's a very sucky situation if I'm being honest. It makes it even worst because I know how great it is to live on my own... I lived with Lin on our own & lived in Aus for six months... I know what freedom tastes like but am stuck here and can't get out quick enough!

3. When will I have enough money saved up to buy a new car!? I currently share a car with basically my entire family, thanks to my not-so-reliable-1995-Blazer! I might add it's extremely annoying to rely on others for a ride places... it makes me want to just stay home all the time.

4. Why do I live in Michigan still...!? I was talking to my dad today and was wondering why in the world my parents decided to raise their family here. Of course it was because back in the 80's, early 90's the economy here was really great and everyone could get jobs...today it's a different story. Michigan is depressing to be in... especially this area. Then again, I live in the burbs so it's tougher to see a decline / decay of the economy... but take a drive anywhere South of the burbs and it's falling apart.

5. When will I be able to control how I react to situations...!? I obviously need to finish growing up, but it's so annoying that I always seem to cause more strive than good amongst my mother & my self...

6. How can I count my blessings when life seems sucky & all I want to do is curl up in a ball & cry...? When will I be totally content with where & what God has entrusted me with?

7. Someone can only fake a smile for a while before it becomes too much of a chore.


... there is a song from Family Force 5 called 'Not Alone'... it doesn't sound like them at all, but I love the lyrics... I need Jesus to tell me that I'm not alone.! I know it's true, I just need to believe it ... TRYING to believe / trust in His faithfulness, it's harder than it sounds.

It'll be okay I breathe in
Just knowing that you're listening
Yeah I'm holding back the tears right now
Just tell me that I'm not alone

Cause I don't hurt when you say it
I hear your words, I can make it
I need you now, I want you now
To tell me that I'm not alone

Beautiful by Michael Ketterer

let men be men!

First of all, the photo has nothing to do with this post, I just like it a lot :) Brit left for Haiti this morning, so she stopped by yesterday arvo to say goodbye.

Here we go...I L-O-V-E the weekends. What a great break from "normal life", right?! Funny story time::: When I tell people I live in Detroit classic questions tend to follow; do I own a gun, have I been to 8 mile, do I know Eminem, or am I in a gang?! It's like when people meet someone from California and just assume they know Miley Cyrus & have been to Hollywood...CA is a big state, what are the chances, honestly. That's besides the point... my grandma lives off of 8 mile... I don't own a gun and I'm not in a gang!

Anyways, Detroit is great... there is lots to do there, cool shops, cafes, museums, parks, ect. It's like every other metropolitan city in North America, except the crime rate is a tad higher & there are heaps more gutted buildings, so what's the big deal? OKAY...so what I'm trying to get at is, roaming the D is all about being smart! You can do whatever you want down there, as long as you're smart. Examples... fill your tank with gas in the burbs, charge your phone, perhaps you should carry pepper spray, and maybe don't go by yourself.

So this brings me to my weekend... Steph and I went downtown [totally prepared; full tank of gas, charged phones, and with each other] on Friday night, so we could see Lecrae live...judge me, it was so good! Very crammed & sweaty, just like when I would go to concerts in high school. We had fun, saw friends and found out what it was like to be the minority...fun times. Post concert nights usually involve getting food, IHOP on Woodward seemed to fit the bill this time around. We got in the car and headed to IHOP. As we headed down the entrance ramp to I-75, we hit a gnarly pot-hole and got 3 feet onto the free-way when Steph's car just stopped. I'm usually not that afraid of situations like this... but we had just come from 7 mile and it was 12 at night... recipe for worry!

I must watch the news too much, because all I could think about was how scary it would be if someone pulled up behind us and got out to "help us". God only knows who/what could pull up behind us to help. After sitting there for maybe 20 minutes, which seemed much longer...trying to start it, again and again, making that call to our dad's...we settled on finally calling AAA to come save us! Literally right when we made the plan to call them, a car pulls up behind us and I looked at Steph & said "this is where it's going to get scary". Side details, it's dark out, her vanity plate reads "BLOND1E", and we're literally in the ghetto of Detroit.

To our delight & relief the car that stopped happened to be some guys from church that we were just with. They saw us & stopped to help... knowing we weren't in the safest part of town & offering all of their prior knowledge of cars. They gladly helped jump/start the car, but nothing worked. We ended up having to get it towed back to Steph's house. The guys offered to drive us back to her house, so we wouldn't have to drive with the tow-truck driver. I was all for this idea! There was no way I was about to pile into a tow-truck with some strange man at 1am in downtown Detroit! Steph... being Miss Independent [love her!] figured we would be fine and protested the idea, the guys insisted...then I reminded her to just let them be men!

What a simple concept right?! Let men be men! Men are good problem solvers and want to rescue/protect, that's how God wired them.... so why do we as women today cringe & dislike assistance from men so much? We want to do everything on our own, we feel like we need to some how prove ourselves. Our society today is fixated on equal rights among genders, which doesn't really make any sense if you think about it... because men are so obviously different than women... each gender has very different qualities and characteristics to contribute to the world and that can't happen if men aren't given the chance to man up!

So ladies... let the men in your life; fathers, brothers, friends or strangers be men!! Let them open the door, fix your car, carry something for you, or assist you in some fashion...even if it's just simple things that allow them to feel appreciated and needed! Okay I'm done ranting...just some thing to consider / think about for your Monday night.