Light Up The Sky.

When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me, that You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Your love is rushing in

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

The Human Race

Imagine the rush of people running the Boston Marathon, all running towards the same finish line. Each year, thousands of individuals train, do intense work outs, discipline themselves, train even harder, and then work out even harder all over again – all for one thing; to complete the Boston Marathon. Runners from around the country may train year round just qualify for such a race. It takes dedication, pain, endurance and perseverance.

I was driving home from dropping my sister off at work this morning and all the traffic reminded me of a different kind of race, this time not with runners but with luxury vehicles (I wouldn’t consider my car necessarily a luxury vehicle – just the cars around me of course), racing to get to their high paying job. Racing to get their kids to their expensive private schools. Racing to beat the red light or cutting people off just to get a car or so ahead. If this was counted as a sport in the Olympics, it’s fare to say a lot of the athletes would be disqualified for playing dirty and not sticking to the rules.

Noticing these suit wearing business men racing by in their BMW’s and plastic looking soccer moms racing by in their fancy SUV’s, reminded me that so much of humanity is stuck running the wrong race. They are chasing after the wealth and affirmation of man, ultimately missing the point. Yeah it's taken a lot of training, pain, endurance and perseverance to run this type of race, but for what? They’ve been training for years, for a race that will never fulfill the emptiness in their souls – making good grades, getting into the right colleges, getting the right job, and still never making enough money or feeling true purpose. Missing the real race, the race that was marked out for us – the race that has purpose, eternal metals and grand prizewinners.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
– Hebrews 12:1-3

Jesus has set a race for us. Not a race for earthly possessions or glory, but for His glory. Not a race towards pleasing human or terrorizing others just to get ahead. The race marked out for us is a hard course; it’s to be proceeded with caution. We must be ready and equipped to take on this race, persecution and strive might pass us along the way, but we must keep on running.

The race is towards the ultimate finish line, eternal life with Jesus Christ. This race isn’t glamorous or popular; it’s about taking risks, sacrifice, and living life uncomfortably. It’s not an easy course, the paths are sometimes unclear but we must keep running. The Holy Spirit keeps us hydrated and training simply involves pursuing an intimate relationship with the Creator of the world, meditating of the Word, stretching ourselves to be more Christ like daily, and developing a disciplined prayer life.

Ask God to reveal himself to you and He will. Examine the race you’re currently running and make sure it’s the one that’s worth it in the end. Rearrange the desires and dreams you’re racing towards to be sure God is getting the glory!

Sweet Mercy.

Sweet mercy! I pretty much had the best weekend ever. Super low key and relaxing. Spent time with good friends. Finished some last minute edits for some jobs. Relaxed. Went to church, heard a great message and was lead in awesome worship. [side note: 90 pictures I took the other day, were looped in the background of the PowerPoint when we sang With Everything in big church a.k.a. the largest audience of my work thus far...made me kind of nervous & a little excited!] Some good friends got baptized. Spent time in the Word and prayed in my church's back yard. Took a long nap. Went to church again and it was amazing.

Oh yeah, and in the midst of a seemingly good and relaxing weekend, I managed to get into with my mom. -- how annoying, I ruin an almost perfect weekend! Sweet mercy! Even though I'm having a good weekend, the way I talk or act brings another person down. How selfish. We talked about in church today how we're made in HIS image, all humanity, made in HIS image. Nothing is accomplished when I'm rude, disrespectful, ungrateful, or arrogant towards anyone, especially my mom in this particular situation. When we tear people down we're tearing down; a human being that was fearfully and wonderfully made, in the image of God! How could I?! Why don't I think before I speak or act?! ugh... frustration.

All these things were on my mind this afternoon. When I got to church [for the second time] I was just annoyed with the way I was acting, after a good weekend I ruined it with shallow words. My delightful weekend shifted into a melancholy, annoyed weekend. We started a new series at church called Thread, how every story {ours, others, stories in the Bible} all have a common thread; Jesus of Nazareth dying for a imperfect sinful human race, saving us and CHOOSING to show us mercy and forgiveness.

What an example of love to learn from. Giving of His life, to show us what true love, mercy and forgiveness really looks like. To be a Christian, is to be a "little Christ", an imitator of Christ, constantly dying to yourself, making Christ first in every aspect of life. Putting others down and saying unkind things is surely not of God and it makes Him sad to see his children bringing other children down.

Ephesians 5:1-2 {Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.}

Sweet mercy is an interjection a lot of people in my life use on a regular basis. Thinking about how I acted towards my mom this weekend makes me think in my head "sweet mercy, what was I thinking?!" Turn it around and I'm reminded of the s w e e t m e r c y God lavishes on us... when we DO NOT deserve it! A lot like the mercy my mom has showed me time and time again. Even when I'm a brat to my mom, she still loves me and she still has my best interest in mind, she still looks after me. I don't deserve the mercy she shows me day after day.

God forgive me of my arrogant attitude, rid me of impure motives, and take away my thinking I have the right to treat my flesh and blood unkindly. Mend the imperfect relationship my mom and I have, allow us to start over freshly this week. Leaving behind my wrongs against her. Thank you for my mom. Thank you for blessing me with a wise, Godly, mentoring mom. Thank you God for a mom that chose to keep me and take the risks of having a sick baby. Thank you for her shoulder to cry and lean on. Jesus forgive me for not always honoring my mom & dad. Nothing is impossible for You, don't allow yesterday to define me. amen.

psalm on my heart.

For the director of music. A song. A psalm.


1 Shout with joy to God,
all the earth!

2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!

3 Say to God, "How awesome are
your deeds! So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.

4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."

5 Come and see what God has done
how awesome his works in man's behalf!

6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the
waters on foot — come,
let us rejoice in him.

S e l a h

7 He rules forever by his power,
his eyes watch the nations—
let not the rebellious rise
up against him.

8 Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard

9 he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.

10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like
silver.


S e l a h

11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.

12 You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a
place of abundance.

16 Come and listen,all you who fear
let me tell you what he has
done for me.

17 I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.

S e l a h

18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;

19 but God has surely listened
and heard my voice
in prayer.

20 Praise be to God,who has not
rejected my prayer or withheld his
love from me!

Slight change in plans.

I'm leaving for Australia in January now, therefore I'm able to continue raising support. I have a great sense of peace about it, so I know it's of God. He will and is still providing. Taking everything day by day. Trusting that support will come in. Daily God is preparing me spiritually, mentally and emotionally for this next big step in my journey. It's been exciting thus far... I'm stoked to see what's in store come January!


It's good to because now I can spend the holidays with my family and friends! It will surely be the last 'hooray' before jet-setting to the land down under.

Get Away

I'm guilty of shallow God and I time. My human nature allows "things" to get the in way of the perfect get away. Personally my fondest times spent with God are when I'm in a secluded area. Where I can talk out loud. Stretch my arms. Lie face down. Meditate on the Word – simply listen, without distractions.

Today my heart was heavy. The only way I could relieve it was to get away; away from noise, away from life, away from wants, away from needs, away from traffic. Away from everything that constantly gets in the way.

I found myself at one of my favorite parks. Lots of hills, trails, open space, streams, and nature. With nothing around me except for Gods creation, I sat in a huge open field of grass to listen, pray, and read. It's crazy how you can feel the Holy Spirit moving in moments like that. Burdens were lifted and I released aches to Lifter of my Head.

When people say they are going on a weekend get away it usually entails some sort of a break, an oasis, relaxation, or time off. That's exactly what it is to spend time with God. A time to take the load off, to rejuvenate, to refresh, to breath, to rediscover life's value. The amazing thing about God is that we don't have to request work off; we don't have to make plans, pack, or prepare to take a get away with God. We can come to Him anytime, anywhere to simply get away. Just as we allow our selves to rejuvenate physically, we must allow ourselves time to rejuvenate spiritually, taking time to get away with God.

keep calm & carry on.

landing in Miami last summer.

This is my life motto from now on. From this moment forward I have to simply keep calm & carry on. Such a good phrase to live by. Especially because I know how I am and how I handle stress.... I need to remind myself to keep calm in everything I do. mmm...cannot wait for the the deep sigh of relief I will be able to take when I walk into a Sydney terminal in 20 some days [that thought gives me chills... ehh... that's REALLY soon]... LORD give me strength & perseverance!

Fall is nigh...but so is summer...what a conundrum!

Ah, ¡Septiembre! For some reason the month of September is the only month I can remember from when I struggled through Spanish in high school & into college. That's besides the point. I just cannot even believe it's SEPTEMBER?! What in the world... why is my life sliding by so quickly and seemingly nonchalantly?! I leave for AUSTRALIA in about 30 days. That's thirty days to wrap things up here, to savor every second of "fall" that I can, to emotionally and spiritually prepare myself and to raise as much support I can. The panic is beginning to set in [typical me...]. Praying, praying, praying for strength and courage as these 30 days of preparing, packing, planning, and taking off come rushing towards me. No turning back now, eh? Exciting and terrifying at the same time. It's strange to me that something that I've only ever dreamed of is coming true in front of my eyes and I'm slightly terrified. God wants to know how much I trust and lean into Him it seems...it's hard but it's what I have to do. A common phrase thrown around in my church family is:

"how big is your God?"

...such a valid question. We so often doubt the power and strength of God... HELLO He can move mountains; He's bigger than any bill we have lingering, He's bigger than any petty conflict we find ourselves in, He's bigger than any dream we're trying to fulfill. There's no way around it, I just have to buckle up for this adventurous, yet terrifying ride that God is about to take me on.

Enough ranting for now. I was just encouraged to read Joshua... I need the courage of Joshua right about now ::

"... I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night {c o m f o r t}, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:5-9

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[EDIT...hour later...] just read a devo on Josh 1:1-9!!

God is so cool... He knows what we need, when we need it.

"Obstacles (a.k.a. getting to Australia) are one way that God strengthens faith. When you are confused and cannot see how He could work out your situation, do not walk away in defeat and miss His blessing. He wants to teach you His way of obedience, trust, and courage. Believe Him; He always keeps His promises. "

Transformation.

I rarely post about music that I love... which should change I guess, right? Because I LOVE music... most music anyway. But last summer I started listening to Joy Williams side project, The Civil Wars, as their live recorded album was free on Noise Trade & Myspace...amazing. I saw them play last night, therefore I thought posting about them would be the most fitting thing to do.........

Growing up I listened to and followed a lot of different Christian music artists, one of my faves being Joy Williams...I'm pretty sure I had her on my Top 8 back in the day. I even planned on one day working within the Christian music business (or music business in general), I figured I love music & Nashville, why not move there one day and work in the biz?! Well dreams and life changes, therefore that's not really my cup of tea these days.... all that to say, I've loved watching Joy Williams transform into my now, favorite indie artist. Joy Williams, the once bottle-blond-pop-artist transformed over the past few years into, a more natural-indie-hipster-folk-artist. She traded in her catchy, Christian, studio recordings for more organic, raw, mellow lyrics and beats....which I love.

Not only has she been doing some solo stuff heard on various sitcoms and commercials, but is touring with the likes of Ten Out Of Tenn crew & her band The Civil Wars. We went and saw The Civil Wars last night, with Madi Diaz -- they all were amazing. I wish I had more time and money to go see a show every weekend. There's just something about hearing music live compared to hearing it on your iTunes... in my opinion it not only sounds better but there's just a different feel to the music, it's all about the atmosphere too I guess... I love it. Anyway, I'll stop raving... just go and check out her *new* solo stuff & The Civil Wars.

side stitch

I've started the race towards where God is leading me & I've seemed to get a side stitch. I'm slowing down because it hurts. My body is telling me to slow down & walk, or simply not finish [take the e a s y way out]. In my moments of doubt & pain the Coach called out to KEEP RUNNING...I KNOW IT HURTS, YOU'RE still GOING TO MAKE IT!

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus [finish line], who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

humbled.

Wow... God provides over & over again. It really humbles me... the fact that I have TWO really good jobs right now. That my parents allowed me to come back to their house & live there rent FREE [some parents make their kids pay rent]. I no longer have to spend money on groceries, rent, random things you need but you don't really think about buying them when you're at Target because you're mom just always buys it: laundry detergent, toilet paper, soap... the list goes on. Not only that, I organized a can/bottle drive this weekend and it ended up falling on a day I had to work [today...]. So my amazing family is up at church collecting cans/bottles FOR ME , while I'm at work.... it's crazy! It sounds lame, but like I actually get emotional thinking about how MUCH God has been providing for me these days.... just little things.

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”
romans 8:32

Unreal.

felt called into missions a year or so ago :: answered it by p r a y i n g :: then I w a i t e d :: prayed some more :: all of the paper work has been filled out & sent in & I have a spot at the Newcastle, Australia YWAM base :: now my passport is waiting for a stamp :: tomorrow I'm applying for a visa & shopping around for cheap health insurance & flights.... :: yes, it seems unreal :: this is happening & sometimes I can't believe it :: God is so good! :: Yeah, I'm going to Australia...soon, very soon.

It's surreal, but it's so real.

{For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.}
_habakkuk one:five

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One more thing...
I told my mom this should be the our fams
Christmas card this year :)

Eat Pray Love

Okay. I found another movie to go in my top ten.
[1. Elizabethtown 2. It's A Wonderful Life 3. Pride & Prejudice 4. Garden State 5. Ferris Bueller's Day Off 6. Sleepless In Seattle 7. You've Got Mail 8. While You Were Sleeping 9. August Rush 10. EAT PRAY LOVE]

EDIT [8/17]: My wonderful friend Megan just e-mailed me these passages, seen under each picture!! love them....

E A T
“I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit” // Jeremiah 2:7
“When your words came I ate them and they were my joy and hearts delight” // Jeremiah 1:4

P R A Y
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you” // Jeremiah 29:12
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” // Jeremiah 33:3

L O V E
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness” // Jeremiah 31: 3
“Give thanks to the Lord almighty, for the Lord is good; His love endures forever” // Jeremiah 33:11

I'm not going to pretend to be some trendy intellectual movie buff, that pulls a lesson out of EVEY movie I watch... Especially because I'll admit that I LOVE cheesy, sappy, romantic comedies that have little to NO meaning....no shame. I won't get too intellectual or write a summary on the CRAZY symbolism you can find in this movie... I will simply say; EAT PRAY LOVE was amazing! It was a tad long & seemed to drag on a bit, but it was quit inspiring... even if you're not going to randomly leave your husband, dream-life, and job all in one day to travel the world... it still inspires to just live life in a way that you desire, within reason of course. To take life one step at a time, to take rest and relaxation seriously. To surround yourself with friends and family. To find GOD. To release yourself from the past and find rest in the Creator or the Universe, Jesus Christ! And last of all to find LOVE... even if it's not the guy, to simply LOVE everyone...go see it :)

"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation"

*My favorite track from the soundtrack.

empty house.

Once again, I'm home alone for the week and... I [still] hate it!

Three summers now a portion of my family have gone on various missions trips during the same week!? Leaving youngest brother & I at home. This time they're all with WSM. D, M, B, L, & C all off with WSM leaving A & I [sorry for so many letters..]. They are all just a county over and I still can't handle it! This year they're in DETROIT -- which is SWEET. But... it's too quiet, too un-chaotic, too boring, too scary at night to not have my manly dad & brother around :/ Life just seems lonely without my family constantly around. I seriously cannot sleep at night when they're not around and an empty house just seems sad and lonely! That's why this verse makes me laugh... because it's SO true. I would never be able to live on my own.. I have to be with some sort of family at all times!

"God sets the lonely in families..." Psalms 68:6

In the midst of feeling family-less for a week I'm reminded of God's LOVE, PROTECTION, FRIENDSHIP, and NEVER FORSAKING us!

Wait for the Lord - Dr. Charles Stanley

Got this devo in an email today... hit my heart hard! Just what I needed to hear... Love when God does that!!

"Right timing is critical in a believer's walk with the Lord. However, trusting His timing in important decisions, uncertain direction, or pressing needs is extremely difficult when everything within us cries, "Do something!" Because we want action, waiting for God seems so passive.

To wait for the Lord means to pause for further instruction while remaining in the present circumstance. It is a purposeful, expectant focus on God—a choice to be actively still and quiet in our hearts, listening for His voice and watching for His intervention. The wait is not for events to work out as we want, but rather for God's will to be done.

The Lord's voice often comes to us through His Word. Because this is His instruction book for our lives, quiet meditation on Scripture is essential. Sometimes when I read my Bible, a passage will jump out at me. The guidance I'm seeking is right there, almost as if it has my name written on it.

At other times, God will use changed circumstances to redirect us, or He will motivate another person to give guidance. However, always remember that any voice offering us direction must align with the Lord's will as revealed in His Word; otherwise, it is not from Him.

The first step in waiting for the Lord is submission to His choice of how and when He will act. What are you hoping God will do? Are you seeking Him or the thing you want from Him? Because He alone knows what is best for you, let go and trust His choice." - In Touch Ministries

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.
//Psalm 130:5-8

Calling is our Calling.

J e r e m i a h 33:3 (Amplified Bible)

"Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know (do not distinguish and recognize, have knowledge of and understand)."

Beth Moore says in her Psalms study, "in God's economy, the only way up is down"... falling on our face before God and calling to Him is what we are CALLED to do. God wants to hear us, so we can hear HIM.

Season of N O M A D - ness

Life is ch-ch-changing.

room at my parents B E F O R E moving out.6 months later ...
room at my parents A F T E R moving back.

Thanks mom + dad for always taking us back :)

I'm heading to the land down under.
If I get accepted for a visa that is.
$8,650 is the magic number.
Merely pocket change to God, right?

"I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles."

p h i l i p p i a n s 4:10-14 [MSG]

OVERJOYED.

You name me
Who am I
That I should company with something so divine?
Mercy waits, Overjoyed
Prospect of finding, freeing
Freeing me

Love is the thing this time I'm sure
That I couldn't need you more now
The way that you saw things were so pure
Overjoyed

You name me
Entertain
Thoughts of peace can overcome anything
Mirror spins
Wicked tales
Here lies reflections of
Deceptions of


Love is the thing this time I'm sure
That I couldn't need you more now
The way that you saw things were so pure
Overjoyed

Missing the me from you you gave to me
I don't like the one I have created today
Crossing nameless from the one I've earned
To be the one, the one you gave to me

You name me
Name Me
Finding, freeing me

I've sown a seed. Now it's time for harvest

August... is going to be a BIG month. BIG changes coming. BIG decisions being made. Good thing I know a BIG God.

I guess I'm moving to Newcastle, Australia in October for YWAM//dts? [typing that out brings A LOT of emotions to the surface...happy/sad/excited/scared] Yeah, that's TWO months from now?! What am I thinking? I'm starting to think I'm crazy, but that's okay, God is crazy and He can literally do unimaginable things... so I guess it's okay that I'm crazy, if God's crazy. [crazy in all the right ways though!] God's will, God's bill.

I'm learning to FULLY rely on God... HE is BIG enough, STRONG enough, GRACIOUS enough, LOVING enough, and MERCIFUL enough to [want to] use me... it's hard to fathom.

I just got back from leading the BEST middle school missions trip ever. [post/update soon]

I'm actually finding myself in over my head with photography business right now, thanks to senior picture time of the year. This is turning into a really good AND bad thing.

In between a HUGE work week [this week], I have to manage to move EVERYTHING I own back to my parents house. At first I was not for the idea of moving back home, but now... I'm all for it!

It's almost my 21st birthday, birthday's are strange for me, I've never liked change and a birthday is a yearly change... you become another year older, you get further and further away from childhood and are suddenly thrown into adulthood.

For the first time in 15 years, I'm not registering for SCHOOL in August!? [more change...]

I've sown a seed.
Now it's time for harvest.


Wow.. Hmm.. Yeah..

growing pain: home

It's a rainy Saturday morning at work. I am missing Saturday's when I was growing up. Before I knew the value of sleeping in. When Saturday automatically meant house-hold-chores for the first half of the day and enjoy-a-day-off the other half of the day. Before I could drive. The time I was care-free. When life was relatively easy.

When it was nice and sunny out. We would play outside until the sun went down. Only to come inside with dirt under our nails and a ton of bug bites. Going on adventurous bike rides through our neighbor hood. Running around our giant front and backyard. Taking the tire swing and turning it into a carnival ride, using the jungle gym. Creating a water-world with a hose, the swing set and the trampoline. Playing house in our giant built-just-for-us play house. Making cities out chalk on our driveway and riding our bikes through them, making stops to grocery shop at the "Grocery Store".

Then there were Saturdays that were rainy. Those days were spent inside. Inside the family room. A room designated just for movie watching, craft making, library book reading, barbie or doll house playing, and fort building. The deep dark blue comfy carpet was very inviting to play on, no matter the time of day. If we weren't in the family room, we were in the kitchen eating Chewy Granola bars for a snack or sitting up at the kitchen bar stools talking moms ear off while she made dinner. Sometimes we would play in our bedrooms, but pretty much only on the Saturdays where we had ventured to clean our rooms that very day...the only time a room was fun to play in was when it had just been cleaned (how ironic right?). Sometime we would just use the entire house to play in, running around or chasing each other from the bedrooms all the way to the family room (causing broken bones).

Thinking about my old house makes me remember too many memories; good, bad, happy, sad, exciting, scary...ultimately causing growing pains. I'm learning that it doesn't matter what roof is over your head, it's the people under that roof that make a house a home.

testing times

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I tend to ramble...

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Pretty much the last few days I've probably went to write a post, ehh.... maybe five times and every time SOMETHING has come up or gotten in the way of me even desiring to finish the post or has caused me to delete it all together. There's been times in the past, where this has happened from lack of creativity, but this time it's different... it's literally as if I'm being attacked by the Enemy...it's not as if, I know it's the Enemy. He only comes to steal, kill and destroy...and that's exactly what he's trying to do. I don't mean that he's attacking my writing ability...okay maybe he is, cause I don't think this is making sense now!? But I mean in my life right now I'm coming against a lot of weird//strange attacks that are not of God. It's making me not feel like myself. Does that make sense?

J o h n 10:10
{The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;}


Like clock work it has been happening since I first mentioned out loud wanting to apply to YWAM//Big-things-for-God [dreaming big for once], it's been one thing after another... little things happening that are making me doubt, question, get annoyed, get off track, and make me think how much easier it would be if I just totally canned the YWAM//Big-things-for-God idea all together, went back to school in the fall and followed the American Dream. It's SO frustrating. Especially because I feel strongly about being called to YWAM and everyone in my life feels the same way.

On the flip side, since expressing REAL interest in YWAM//B-t-f-G... I've had some REALLY good and positive GOD things//changes happen. Where I've really seen God move in mysterious ways and have experienced true healing from Him [through friends & family, watershed, lighthouse, church]... but then again, right after the "good stuff"...the "bad stuff" comes back...maybe it's just me? maybe it's hormones? I don't know, but I do know it is the Enemy, trying to weasel in and cause me to become stubborn, lazy, doubt-filled and settle for an ordinary life.

It's reminding me a lot of the series we did at lighthouse a few months back called LIVE EVIL. The premise was basically that where ever and when ever there is something that is "LIVE" [GOOD, ALIVE, OF GOD]... the EVIL [BAD, DEAD, NOT OF GOD] is right behind it. In shadows of GOOD there's BAD. This would be a good example of God's divine t e s t i n g. HE is obviously molding, crafting, and stretching me these past few weeks...

Umm, HELLO testing .... I've seen testing of temptations more than ever, testing of patience, testing of full reliance on God, testing of trust, testing of perseverance's, testing, testing, testing = attack, after attack.

{...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.}

I KNOW God is at work and so is the Enemy... it's a spiritual battle... I can't say I've actually personally experienced it like this before. A constant spiritual game of tug-of-war...I'm glad there's is HOPE!

All that to say... I'm under a spiritual attack right now, over a matter of weeks I've seen my self go from one season, drastically right into the next season. This season is titled : testing. And all I can do is push through and pray to God that I can be strong and courageous.

A friend just texted me this verse....how fitting...

H e b r e w s 2:18
Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

....Thank you Jesus for sticking with me and being in the middle of my messy life...

Z e p h a n i a h 3:17
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Life Is Never Boring

Sometimes there are days when I wish my life was more exciting. Then over the past few days, I have found myself literally laughing out loud... because my life has really never been boring.

not-so-boring-week::
Did a huge family shoot for some family friends; in the scorching heat. Went to my sisters first ever Detroit Tigers baseball game...she LOVES the D, but some how had never been? Ate late night pizza at the motor city brewery, chatted with the AgapeBabes , celebrated 4th of July with my family, some how made it to work in between, went to the beach with the siblings, had a massive water fight with middle school kids at Oasis, ran around town to get things done for my YWAM application and finally sent a package to Australia! Hung out downtown with good friends, realized how soon a good friend is moving out of state, met my new neighbor at 1:30 in the morning...by breaking in with my landlord, crashed at my sisters apartment because I can't sleep somewhere alone, shot a really pretty wedding along side a sweet professional photog, ate fancy hors d'oeuvres, ran into a creepy-regular-male-library-patron at the wedding....who happens to be a bartender on the weekends!? Ran through golf course sprinklers, heard that the church I grew up in merged with church and prayed through lighthouse, and did a kids shoot in a sweet park!

I don't think my life is boring anymore.

Kari Jobe: You Are For Me

Kari Jobe just released a video for one of my favorite worship songs...such truth in the lyrics.
Kind of needed this song tonight...love how it reminds me of who HE is.

Weekend Report.

Two exciting things...

1. My third sister -- not blood related -- got married last night! She's been Brittany's best friend since middle school and has pretty much been an extended part of our family since then. It was the best wedding I've been to in a while. It was seriously perfect. An out door wedding, by the water, clear skies, sun setting, yummy food, lots of dancing, amazing family and friends...it was so great. I'm so happy for them! They are planning on moving to Australia in October which brings me to the next item..

2. I'm FINALLY filling out an application to YWAM! If I get accepted I'll be leaving in October for New Castle, Australia... for five months! It's crazy how God is moving and working! My mom pretty much said that she would be upset with me if I waste any more time contemplating whether I should apply or not! I wrote in my journal the other night (shocking...that rarely happens) that if I don't apply this week that I will regret it the rest of my life. I'm at the prime time of my life to do something like this...nothing is holding back. Can't wait to see what's next and where God is leading... ::s i g h:: I've also been reading he book of Ecclesiastes...oh man! So fitting for my life right now!

i s a i a h fourty

I was reminded of Isaiah 40 today.
good read : good reminder : good God, amen!

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.