short & sweet

in a world that is so enthralled with looks, appearances, money, or keeping up with the Jones’s - which is so prevalent in the area I live, with the name brands covering each kid that walks into where I work, it’s sad that people think that money and status will satisfy... it's good to know that some people still want to make a difference in the world around them, not worrying about what people think. so this weekend was cold as I'll get, which I still dislike greatly, but I learn to deal .. I'm just happy to have a warm place to rest my head at night. so anyway, last night I got be part of something bigger than myself, which is always a good feeling. wsm [Woodside student ministry] hosted a volley ball tourney, where each team had to raise a certain about of money just to play and on top of that, prizes were given to those who raised the most money. the money is going directly to a orphanage that our church has in Thailand, where children are rescued from a life of sex trade and agony. as of today there are twenty-five children there, and hopefully twenty-five more this year. all together the high school students alone raised $7,000, not including concessions and other donations through the night. God was truly shown, seeing that we were only expecting maybe 2,500. it's just cool to see students spend their Saturday night (really snowy & bad roads at that) having fun playing volleyball, unifying as the body of Christ, and helping the children of Thailand. Besides helping those across the earth, my sister helped out at the homeless bbq downtown yesterday.. which I for one would really love to do, if I ever get a Saturday off! So yeah, anyway I love seeing/hearing about people doing things like that, it makes me smile. In other news, I started reading the Bible starting in Genesis & Matthew – at the same time. It’s the coolest thing ever, if you can get yourself through the genealogies, the Bible honestly is so intriguing and has totally captivated me, a lot more than I thought. Other worthy for mentioning news, me and Lindsay are going to Miami in April … I know I can’t believe it either. We both love & need adventure in our lives, so why not take the plunge. Finally, God is truly invading, captivating, and mending my heart. I love to see God moving and at work.

marriage & second chances

the phrase second chances has gained a whole new meaning tonight.

as we ring in another new year, we always seem to ring in a slew of second chances along with a fresh start, a clean slate. not as if new years is the only time we get another chance, life is made/filled with second chances. God has chosen to give me [us] second chances (His never ending love, mercy & grace) .. to say second would be bogus in actuality, it's honestly more like, a trillionth chance - you get the gist. so tonight Cliff opened by asking how our two thousand & eight was light heartedly; going over his top tens of the year. .. then nailed us with "how was your marriage [in two thousand & eight]?". when he first said this I know I wasn't the only one (or maybe I was, it takesme a second or so to process things .. ha) that thought it was a weird thing to ask, seeing that maybe 10 percent - if that, of the people at lighthouse on a regular basis are married ... so I for one didn't really find this relevant at first. then he went on explaining how basicaly as a follower of the Creator we are in a sense 'married' to Christ. we are the Bible says, His bride after all, “Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride [the Church] has made herself ready.” Revelation 19:7.

I mean, I hear this analogy all the time, but I never grasped it the way I did tonight. as Cliff spoke of how we are in this intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe, he referred to his and Anges relationship, or any married couples relationship. he went into the example of our sin basically being lust towards another or having an affair while we are married and how we can find freedom in a pure and holy marriage. yet knowing that, we often times continue down our dangerous path of sin with the mentality of "He will always forgive me, no matter what we do". when you think of our sin as committing adultery ... it takes a whole different meaning, or to me it does. I mean I am not married .. yet, but I cannot imagine the hurt, the angst, the utter disappointment and the feeling of inadequacy that I as a wife or a man as a husband would feel if the one closest to them, the one they has once found satisfaction in was to cheat on them. to me, that would be so horrible and think to myself, well I would never let that happen if I were married ... yet it’s as if I am [all of us] committing adultery against my [our] heavenly Husband on a daily, continual basis and the worst part is that we don’t even realize it when we are lukewarm on the fence Christians. we go on in our dirty ways of sin and don’t even think of who we are cheating on -- the Creator of the universe. we are telling our spouse; "You are no longer good enough for me, You no longer satisfy my needs, I can live without you, after all You are the one that married me and I know You still love me, You will always forgive me". okay, this is such a dangerous way of life. it’s obvious that a marriage will not and cannot last when one of the spouses is constantly cheating ... marriages build on knowing the other so deeply that you cannot live without the other. in marriage, you get to know the other by effective communication, going through life with them. as Christians - brides of Christ, we are called to live our married life getting to know our Husband, through communication or prayer and go through life with Him, gaining knowledge of how He works by staying close to the Word. in Psalms 37 we find how we are called to live and go on committed to our Husband or our LORD & Savior Jesus Christ ...

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

God just completely opened my eyes, and my heart tonight, that I am in dyer need of renewing my vows - not just verbally, I have to take action as well; constantly getting to know my Husband on a much much more intimate level through His word and by talking to Him ... how many married couples do you know that don’t talk, not many and if they don’t talk it’s not a good sign of a thriving marriage. also, by forsaking all others that would cause me to cheat on Him. what perfect timing, a new year, a fresh start to a renewed marriage. I thought of it like this, it’s like I met my Husband in 1995 [when I accepted Christ], we casually dated through elementary school and middle school - just figuring each other out. in high school our relationship sort of picked up, we got a tad more serious, we got married [I rededicated my life to Christ before high school], but we weren’t moving to fast. I thought I knew my Husband, but really He knew me better, He knew my weaknesses, He knew we would hit rough patches, so He waited for me. He waited there when I painfully cheated on Him, and time after time, He took me back as I begged for His forgiveness and wanted back into the marriage. then it took me till I was in college to see how I had hurt my Husband and realized how our marriage should be from now on. God has really been moving in my life for the past couple of weeks, and I am finally seeing my flaws, my mistakes, the times I’ve cheated. two thousand & nine Lord willing, marks my year of renewal, recharging, genesis', second chances at a marriage that means way to much to see it crumble. because no one is perfect, my marriage, just as everyone elses will have its moments, there will be times when I [and everyone else] will be tempted to lust or to cheat on my spouse, but my [our] Spouse thankfully doesn’t believe in divorce and paid way to big of a debt [His death on a cross] to see our marriage fall apart. therefore He, our Spouse always welcomes us, His bride back for a second chance and two thousand & nine is my second chance to strive for a well rounded and thriving marriage.

one more thing, Cliff mentioned opening to a part of scripture [Psalm 37] and when I went to flip to it, it was already marked. the card that was "book marking" it was an index card we were given around thanksgiving time during Sunday school and were asked to write what we were most thankful for in terms of our relationship with God, mine said “I am thankful for Gods mercy and grace. and for the second chances He offers”. it was for sure a God thing ... my God is not a god of luck or chance, He proves Himself right in front of us if we look for Him. my God is at work in my heart.