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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

healing/surrendering

SURRENDER ALL.
EMBRACE YOUR HEALING.


I needed to hear that like mad.

God I cry out, get me through my day by day temptations that pull me down, steer me away from believing Satan's lies. Protect me under the shelter of the shadow of the Utmost High. Allow me to live a holy and pleasing life according to Your will. Make me let go, let me take hold of only you. I am a broken person in need of healing, only you offer. Break my heart for what breaks yours; let me truly surrender all and embrace healing.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

excited

SO many things to be excited, happy, and thankful about!

"Sing to the LORD a new song,for he has done marvelous things"
Ps. 98:1


HOTEl3343

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Love opend my eyes..

SO my last post was about how I want to KNOW God better & how thankful I am that HE knows me ... well tonight at Lighthouse, Cliff spoke about KNOWING God & us KNOWING Him, definitely not a coincidence, simply God moving.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

THE NAME GAME


So I am at work right now, and a girl came in earlier that I sort of knew from high school, we ran cross country together, and were in a few classes together - but it's not like we hung out, outside of school. To my surprise, she totally knew my name, she asked how I was and the whole bit. I for the life of me could not remember her name and I felt bad because she knew my name. This isn't the first time this has happened, it actually happens to me a lot ... I don't know what it is, I just have a hard time with names. I blame it on the fact that I am a twin, therefore my entire life people have been trying to figure out what my name is, it's always a luck of the draw or 50/50 chance of getting it right - for a lot of people I come into contact with. As I 'tweeted' my frustration, it crossed my mind that God knows everyone’s name -- there isn't a single person He cannot put a name with a face. That truth gives me such rest and peace

"And the LORD said to Moses,
'I will do the very thing you have asked,
because I am pleased with you and
I know you by name"
Exodus 33:17


My Creator knows my name; He knows who I am inside, my soul, my longings, my desires, my fears. Isn't that what we as humans want? To be known. I find such hope in the fact that my Savior truly knows me and accepts me, like a husband would know and accept his wife, or as anyone who would know and accept a close friend. He knows when we hurt, when we feel pain. His knowledge far surpasses just our name. He knows the depths of us and sees who we really are, and yet loves us the same. Knowing this gives me such joy and peace. It makes me want to know the heart of my Savior that much more, because He knows me too well.

Monday, April 6, 2009

WHY WORRY?!

I am a worry wart. I worry about almost everything. My parents tell me I am subtracting days from my life because I worry so much and that it raises my blood pressure. I try to hide the fact that I am a worrier and play it off that I am just concerned about a particular situation. I grew up knowing the infamous Steve Green kids song or jingle "Do Not Worry", inspired from the verses in Matthew 6:25-34, it is still stuck in my head and yet I can't seem to put it into practice. ((add cheery, childish harmonies to the lyrics below))

"Do not worry about tomorrow;
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or drink.
Is not life more important than food
and a body more than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap,
or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them!
Do not worry about tomorrow.
"

I know not to worry. I know in my head that it's technically a sin to worry. When one worries, they are basically telling God "I don't trust that You will take care of my needs". So why do I worry so much!? Because I’m human and “my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak” (worship throwback). Satan knows I am a worrier so he takes any chance he has to make me worry. I hate it. I know in my heart I trust God and know He has a perfect plan for me, but I need to so desperately curve my worrying to resting in the Truth. I need to put into practice my ability to trust God wholly, by not worrying.. I love in Jeremiah 29:11 (the verse that was on almost every one of my graduation cards) the promise God gives to us, He KNOWS my plans, He promises me a hope and a future in Him. All over scripture God not only commands us not to worry and trust in Him, but gives us comfort that we aren't alone. If God is always with us, we never have to be afraid. In Acts 18, God tells Paul in a vision not to be afraid, because He was with him. God opened my heart, eyes, ears, mind, and soul this weekend to what I need to work on in my far from perfect life. God commands me not to worry, therefore I must not worry. It's as simple as that. I want to have a renewed spirit and mindset and a trust in my Creator that I can't even find room to worry. One more quote, I love how William Cowper put it in this poem about our Creator - it's so powerful how God does move in mysterious ways and all I have to do is sit back and wait patiently ... with out worrying what tomorrow will bring.

"Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
"

Sunday, April 5, 2009

quickie

I have so much on my mind tonight. God spoke right to me tonight about fear. It was such a God thing because Jim spoke about fear in beta this morning, and I shrugged it off as something I already knew and have heard too many times. and in 'big chruch' Pastor Doug spoke on having peace in God. Then at lighthouse Cliff talked about fear too ... I have some things I need to take care of. I will add more tomorrow at work or something when I have time, right now I am supposed to be doing my homework, but I got distracted (that happens a lot). One more thought, I love the song God Only Knows by Joy Williams ... "[I'm] in one of those seasons everything seems to go so wrong ... God only knows all [my] broken pieces & He's holding onto [me]"

*Rich Mullins & the sound of rain are putting me to sleep, when I know I have to do school work.