au revoir

As December 1st is approaching I can't help but think about how close 2012 is!! With that in mind, I have come to the conclusion to remove myself from facebook & blogs for the month of December. I spend way too much time reading through statuses, liking photos & catching up on my favorite blogs. God help me, I'm going to try my best to utilize this month for giving thanks to God for the year 2011...as this has clearly been a year to remember, I want to be ready & equipped for the new year of adventures/seasons to come. By fasting from these social outlets, I pray that God would bless me with a clear vision, humble & thankful heart as we head into 2012.

au revoir 2011...
see you in 2012

identity crisis?

Tonight I was overwhelmed, while scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. It caught my eye that so many teenage girls have over air brushed profile pictures of themselves. There must be some major identity crisis' taking place. I am of course, found guilty for painting on my face every morning (and more so when I go to a fancy event). It's not that make-up or looking good is bad, it's not being able to anywhere without make-up on OR getting stuck in the mind set that your true identity is only found in your outward appearance..

Why do teenage girls Picnik their beauty away anyways!? It makes me so sad, that women in general think they must paint their face on to be beautiful. Women long to know, "am I beautiful?" We think the only way to get the answer we are looking for is by applying heaps of make-up on. That is in fact a lie.

I think it's about time Satan stops over-taking media & brain washing females into thinking they are only beautiful as COVER GIRL's painted with foundation & eye liner or over-airbrushed-Picnik-pixally-cheaper-versions of themselves. Lies. Lies. Lies. Satan is full of it. Girls, don't believe these STUPID lies! Wash your make-up off and look in the mirror & tell yourself you're beautiful with or without make-up on! You are perfect in His eyes, no one else opinions should matter or form your ill thought processes of what you think of yourself.

"For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 sam 16.7

Once you take the mask off, you'll find that people will STILL think you're beautiful, without over correcting your Facebook profile picture on Picnik, I promise :)

confession.

edit: 30 minutes after post // Satan, I will not believe lies you feed me! Get behind me. I am His and He is mine, made in His image. The world tried to define woman-hood, but I will not conform. I am who I am, because of I AM. Amen. * thank you Jesus for blessing me with sisters to remind me who I am & speak truth into me.

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17

confession:
I wish I was more girlie.
Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me! Tonight we went to the mall to bum around and I had a revelation, I wish I was more feminine/girlie. Every time we go to the mall, I try to have fun, I'm not adventurous when making purchases, I don't get excited about things in Anthropologie, I never wear earrings, I hardly know how to do my hair & make-up, I hate babysitting, I love cuddly babies -- but I'm really awkward at holding them, it takes a lot for me to cry, I don't know how to braid hair, I'm not crafty, I can't doodle, and generally just not girlie :( I want to be more girlie... but every time I try, it doesn't work! How am I ever going to be a decent wife/mother!? #help

sisters, in need of rescue.

Unearthing Sexual Exploitation from Unearthed on Vimeo.

forward motion

This week I have been thinking about Australia way too much. I miss it SO much, it's paralyzing. It makes me wish my life away. I can't keep looking in the rear view mirror and it's so frustrating! I'm trying to make forward motion, but it sucks! It's going to be hard & difficult. Then I'm reminded that this time last year, my forward motion to Australia was hard & difficult. Hopping across the pond for six months seems like cake compared to what God has for me next. I can't dwell on the past if I want to move forward!! The next mountain I want to get over is going to take the same kind of trust, faith, and strength it took to go to Australia... I need to replace my mourning for Australia and be empowered to go above and beyond towards the next mountain... because with
HIM nothing is impossible.

With man this is impossible,
but with God all things are possible.
MATTHEW 19:26

Jesus, give me more faith that YOU can move mountains...
I shouldn't need anymore signs, I think sending me to
Australia & Thailand is a big enough sign.
Just give me more faith.

sick day

sick = illness
today is the best day to be sick, it's dark & pouring rain. chasing after a sore / scratchy throat - runny nose - coughing - sneezing - achy - warm - tired body with heaps of hot tea & tissue.


sick = rad
today marks 25 years of marriage for my parents! 25 years is a long time. I'm happy they got married & decided to stay married, even through not so merry times. God has been so faithful through their 25 years and I know He will remain faithful for the next 25 years...as they have remained faithful to each other.

HAPPY 11/11/11

11 thoughts.

1. I am currently obsessed with Michael Buble's Christmas album, I highly recommend listening to it on Spotify or buying it on iTunes.

2. I am REALLY thankful for the friends -- people God blessed me with to do life with.

3. It makes me excited that my church is passionate about being a church on mission... therefore they are hosting a missions conference this weekend, I'm pretty stoked about it!

4. Today is my sisters 1 year anniversary with her lovely boyfriend!! Cheers to them!!

5. Today I taught a four year old how to say "hello" & "thank-you" in Thai.

6. There is way more to life than what your bank account says.

7. I love that my job is for a cause greater than myself... it's the first job where I'm not working to create revenue.

8. Today in honor of the date... you can get a year of Relevant Magazine for only $11.00!

9. Lately I have to remind myself A LOT that I could have it wost than I currently do...someone is ALWAYS having a worst day than you...remember that.

10. The best kept secret is dirty hair...

11. This is the Bible verse, from the 11th book of the Bible, 11th chapter...

The guards, each with weapon in hand, stationed themselves around the king—near the altar and the temple, from the south side to the north side of the temple. 2 Kings 11:11

so sus.

Sus is Australian slang for, suspicious.

It's common sense right that nothing you do online is hidden, right? Therefore it shouldn't come as a surpise that anyone reading this is tracked to an extent, right? Ever since I started my blog I've had a tracker that tells me where a viewer is from & the duration of their visit. Semi for wonders sake, semi for safety and semi for reassurance that I have an audience :)

Which brings me to my very sus situation... (and now whoever is viewing this will be found out!) Ha. I only know a hand full of people from Canada and none of them live in Ontario... so WHO in the world is CONSTANTLY viewing my blog posts!?

Now you see why I'm so sus... should I be concerned? should I be flattered?! It's wierd & creepy... literally some days they view it every hour... because I'm such a worrywart, I looked into password locking my blog, but you can't do that on blogger. Lame, right!

Anyways, I'm probably just making a mountain out of a molehill....

hodge-poge

1. I'm in the middle of drafting a HUGh-MUNG-Oh update on what God has been teaching me... it makes me excited & gives me chills.

2. The other day I was reading my journal from this year, looking back on this year also gives me chills... I still can't believe what has happened in this short span of time! God has be so evident, His fingerprints are all over my journal... including the Aussie flower I smuggled into the US... don't call Homeland Security on me!

3. I saw this on TMFS [warning: addictive time waster] the other day. Hopefully my future husband is thinking this, one day... because I'm totally keen :)

4. As the weather is changing, I'm missing Australian summer.

5. Did I mention I L-O-V-E my new admin job!? I seriously can't believe I get to do what I do!? God is so good. This weekend I got to connect with heaps of people from the ministry I've never met before...it was so great!

6. Though the bitter weather is coming, I do enjoy the signs & sounds of the coming holiday seasons!! Including the red cups from Starbucks.

7. A friend of mine down unda' sent this to me the other day.. it made my day!

the end.

word.

- Oswald Chambers.

John 16:33

I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world

prov. 31:25

untitled

Abba Father,

I give up, trying to be strong is not working any more. Only You can be the strong I need right now. I am done trying to be in control of this situation. I am done crying empty hopeless tears. Lead me toward love. Grant me wisdom, to speak over the situation. Let me talk/walk/live in Truth. Let my dry bones be replaced with life. Speak into the silence I hear. Soften my heart. Breath upon the lifeless. Bring fourth your Spirit and healing to this place. Take my heart back to the place where I was in constant awe of You. Forgive my heart of doubt. Let me rest in Your arms. I trust in Your protection/comfort/provision, I don't need anymore signs that You are who You say you are! I want to be near to Your heart. I can't do this on my own, hear my plea. Mend my broken heart. Bring life/joy/gladness back into this place. Show me Your glory. Never once have we ever walked alone, You are faithful, God You are faithful.

love,
Your daughter.

¹ Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ ALL this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4

cuts deep.

venting machine

#frustrated #jaded #annoyed #irritated #overwhelmed #vent #helpmeJesus

1. I don't understand why money doesn't grow on trees...?! It would make life a lot easier.

2. I'm very curious what God is trying to teach me while I'm living at home. It's basically the worst thing ever right now, I can't handle it! My family would be happier if I moved out & I have no business still living at home. Of course I am currently not making enough to move out. It's a very sucky situation if I'm being honest. It makes it even worst because I know how great it is to live on my own... I lived with Lin on our own & lived in Aus for six months... I know what freedom tastes like but am stuck here and can't get out quick enough!

3. When will I have enough money saved up to buy a new car!? I currently share a car with basically my entire family, thanks to my not-so-reliable-1995-Blazer! I might add it's extremely annoying to rely on others for a ride places... it makes me want to just stay home all the time.

4. Why do I live in Michigan still...!? I was talking to my dad today and was wondering why in the world my parents decided to raise their family here. Of course it was because back in the 80's, early 90's the economy here was really great and everyone could get jobs...today it's a different story. Michigan is depressing to be in... especially this area. Then again, I live in the burbs so it's tougher to see a decline / decay of the economy... but take a drive anywhere South of the burbs and it's falling apart.

5. When will I be able to control how I react to situations...!? I obviously need to finish growing up, but it's so annoying that I always seem to cause more strive than good amongst my mother & my self...

6. How can I count my blessings when life seems sucky & all I want to do is curl up in a ball & cry...? When will I be totally content with where & what God has entrusted me with?

7. Someone can only fake a smile for a while before it becomes too much of a chore.


... there is a song from Family Force 5 called 'Not Alone'... it doesn't sound like them at all, but I love the lyrics... I need Jesus to tell me that I'm not alone.! I know it's true, I just need to believe it ... TRYING to believe / trust in His faithfulness, it's harder than it sounds.

It'll be okay I breathe in
Just knowing that you're listening
Yeah I'm holding back the tears right now
Just tell me that I'm not alone

Cause I don't hurt when you say it
I hear your words, I can make it
I need you now, I want you now
To tell me that I'm not alone

Beautiful by Michael Ketterer

let men be men!

First of all, the photo has nothing to do with this post, I just like it a lot :) Brit left for Haiti this morning, so she stopped by yesterday arvo to say goodbye.

Here we go...I L-O-V-E the weekends. What a great break from "normal life", right?! Funny story time::: When I tell people I live in Detroit classic questions tend to follow; do I own a gun, have I been to 8 mile, do I know Eminem, or am I in a gang?! It's like when people meet someone from California and just assume they know Miley Cyrus & have been to Hollywood...CA is a big state, what are the chances, honestly. That's besides the point... my grandma lives off of 8 mile... I don't own a gun and I'm not in a gang!

Anyways, Detroit is great... there is lots to do there, cool shops, cafes, museums, parks, ect. It's like every other metropolitan city in North America, except the crime rate is a tad higher & there are heaps more gutted buildings, so what's the big deal? OKAY...so what I'm trying to get at is, roaming the D is all about being smart! You can do whatever you want down there, as long as you're smart. Examples... fill your tank with gas in the burbs, charge your phone, perhaps you should carry pepper spray, and maybe don't go by yourself.

So this brings me to my weekend... Steph and I went downtown [totally prepared; full tank of gas, charged phones, and with each other] on Friday night, so we could see Lecrae live...judge me, it was so good! Very crammed & sweaty, just like when I would go to concerts in high school. We had fun, saw friends and found out what it was like to be the minority...fun times. Post concert nights usually involve getting food, IHOP on Woodward seemed to fit the bill this time around. We got in the car and headed to IHOP. As we headed down the entrance ramp to I-75, we hit a gnarly pot-hole and got 3 feet onto the free-way when Steph's car just stopped. I'm usually not that afraid of situations like this... but we had just come from 7 mile and it was 12 at night... recipe for worry!

I must watch the news too much, because all I could think about was how scary it would be if someone pulled up behind us and got out to "help us". God only knows who/what could pull up behind us to help. After sitting there for maybe 20 minutes, which seemed much longer...trying to start it, again and again, making that call to our dad's...we settled on finally calling AAA to come save us! Literally right when we made the plan to call them, a car pulls up behind us and I looked at Steph & said "this is where it's going to get scary". Side details, it's dark out, her vanity plate reads "BLOND1E", and we're literally in the ghetto of Detroit.

To our delight & relief the car that stopped happened to be some guys from church that we were just with. They saw us & stopped to help... knowing we weren't in the safest part of town & offering all of their prior knowledge of cars. They gladly helped jump/start the car, but nothing worked. We ended up having to get it towed back to Steph's house. The guys offered to drive us back to her house, so we wouldn't have to drive with the tow-truck driver. I was all for this idea! There was no way I was about to pile into a tow-truck with some strange man at 1am in downtown Detroit! Steph... being Miss Independent [love her!] figured we would be fine and protested the idea, the guys insisted...then I reminded her to just let them be men!

What a simple concept right?! Let men be men! Men are good problem solvers and want to rescue/protect, that's how God wired them.... so why do we as women today cringe & dislike assistance from men so much? We want to do everything on our own, we feel like we need to some how prove ourselves. Our society today is fixated on equal rights among genders, which doesn't really make any sense if you think about it... because men are so obviously different than women... each gender has very different qualities and characteristics to contribute to the world and that can't happen if men aren't given the chance to man up!

So ladies... let the men in your life; fathers, brothers, friends or strangers be men!! Let them open the door, fix your car, carry something for you, or assist you in some fashion...even if it's just simple things that allow them to feel appreciated and needed! Okay I'm done ranting...just some thing to consider / think about for your Monday night.

sisterhood

powerful:nurturing:slow-to-speak:feminine:strong:hopeful:graceful
Think of Mary... she changed our world, when she birthed the Savior of the world. I'm curious to see/find what God has in store for the sisters/women in my sphere of influence. I want to change my world, I want us to change the world, together we can/will see... your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven!


"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come." PROV 31.25

[photo credit here]

holy weekend!

Blessed with the BEST five-day-weekend ever!! Taylor came in from Chicago on Friday night, we drove up north with Lin, Steph & Meg ... had a laughter filled trip up north & met up with Scott & Tina, who are going back to Australia next Monday!! It was so good/refreshing to just sit & talk to them! It was just like old times. I love friends who can pick up conversation right where it left off. Tina's family owns a bakery...so going there at 11-pm to raid it was definitely a high light :) We had yummy meals, quality conversations, & pretty scenic walks. We parted with Scott & Tina on Sunday afternoon, so the girls & I could make it back for Lighthouse...Monday Taylor & I biked 14 miles...went shopping...drank lots of coffee...showed off Detroit...had lots of laughs. ahh...I still can't believe how great my weekend was! Now back to reality... I'm happy it's a three day work weekend.

God you are SO good!! I can't handle it sometimes!!

value human life?

This is one of the most powerful films I have ever seen! I was pro-LIFE before watching this...but now there will never be a doubt in my mind that abortion IS murder of an innocent life. We cannot tolerate this modern-day-holocaust to continue. This hits really close to home...

1.) Close family friends struggled with infertility for quite some time...they endured raw pain/grief/tears before God abundantly blessed them with two precious baby girls.

It's hard to grasp the fact that women choose to kill their flesh and blood out of convenience, when many loving/solid/responsible families are suffering from infertility...but no, a woman couldn't carry a baby for nine months and give her child up for adoption!? It blows my mind!

2.) I was born with a congenital (kon-JEN-ih-tal) heart defect a.k.a. HOLE in my heart [physically + spiritually ;) ] ... I am also a twin. Twins are automatically "high risk", then add a defect, a broken heart...all the more reason to be "high risk" and more likely to abort.

My parents were told by doctors it would be a smart idea to avoid complications. They were even asked by friends if they would consider it...THANK YOU JESUS they didn't!! Thankfully my parents were able to get me the medical attention I needed once my sister & I were born... I can imagine that would have been a very difficult time for my young mom, having a 1.5 year old at home & two itty-bitty baby twins.

Bottom line is, abortion is the easy way out... we weren't put on earth to take the easy way out of lives bumps/curves/valleys...keep your head up in the valleys & GREAT will be your reward! What if my friends wouldn't have held their heads up during their valleys!? Two precious baby girls wouldn't have been adopted into a safe/loving/nurturing family. What if my parents wouldn't have kept their heads up when they found out that having twins would be difficult?! I wouldn't be typing this and my mom would most likely be carrying unwanted guilt. Perhaps re-think the value YOU place on human life......

I won't waste my life.

God is reminding me [a lot] lately to not waste my life.

^"15Look carefully then how you walk!
Live purposefully and worthily and
accurately, not as the unwise and witless,
but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),

¹⁶Making the very most of the time
[buying up each opportunity], because
the days are evil.

¹⁷Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.

¹⁸And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but ever be filled and stimulated with the [Holy] Spirit.

¹⁹Speak out to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, offering praise with voices and instruments] and
making melody with all your heart to the Lord,

²⁰At all times and for everything giving thanks
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God
the Father." Ephesians 5:15 [amp]

Recently I remember seeing a movie trailer for a new movie with Justin Timberlake in it. [hopefully you know what movie I'm referring to, because I don't remember the name of it]. From what I could see in the trailer, the characters had a digital time floating above their heads. They were constantly on the run to "buy" more time it appeared. What a picture that is! Sometimes I wish I had a life clock floating above my head! How much more would I get done in a day! How much nicer would I be? How much more time I would spend getting to know God. For me personally, I feel like my daily choices would look a lot different.

Unfortunately God didn't grant us with digital clocks above our heads. We have no idea what our clock is at; it could be at 429,843:03:45 or 9:32:14 ... With a mind set like this, I feel more inclined to not waste my life. Of course, death is a harsh reality, but it's something we need to think about. If I was to die today, what would people say about my life/personality/walk with Christ/how I treat others? Would they have to lie and make things up, to make me sound like a quality person? Would people know that I was a follower of Christ? It reminds me of the old school Nicole Nordman song, Legacy.

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Making the most of every minute, hour, days we have is important and it's something I take for granted. I often make plans for tomorrow or the next five years, arrogantly thinking I will be here. I have to remember that God is in control of my clock...today I'm going to start making a more of a conscious decision to let God make my plans & lead me where He needs me. So, I can make the most of my small time on the earth. When I no longer have breath, I want to have done everything I possibly could to expand the Kingdom & impact the world around me.

the Comforter

"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

I love that God is a God of comfort, knowing exactly how & when to comfort us. the Groom looking after His bride...being patience...speaking tenderly...comforting, when the bride feels weak. God's comforting in the last 48 hours:: the message at lighthouse on Hosea; to remind me that Jesus will never leave my side & will always love me unconditionally...or today having a good cry; to release loads of bottled up emotions...and then tonight this verse in 2 Tim, to remind me that no matter what my current circumstance may be...since I have decided to entrust Him with my life, He will guard it knowing He is in control. + Speaking of comfort... my "no-word" playlist usually calms me down after a stressful/annoying day, so I was listening to Your Hand In Mine by Explosions in the Sky... how fitting!? My hand is in His...and He will never let go...thanks God for comforting me when I need it!

Our hand is always in the hand of the one true Comforter.

...allure her

Do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast, if you weren't at Lighthouse on Sunday...excellent reminder of God's unconditional love & mercy on us!!

podcast here.

kop-khun-ka

Friends & family... here is an over due piece of gratitude... For the past three months since returning home, I've had no idea how to really show thanks in a genuine way. The reality is that words won't ever do justice to the type of thanks my church, friends, and family deserve for supporting me the way they have! So here goes an attempt to fill you in on what you supported...and I really can't say THANK YOU enough for the support I received this past year. God has blessed me above & beyond with each of you!

With YOUR prayer/thoughts and financial support, I was able to know God better in the land-down-under and make Him known in the nation of Thailand with the organization, Youth With A Mission. The following is a follow-up-report of what I was able to do with YOUR help.

I completed a six-month program called Discipleship Training School, based in Newcastle, New South Wales. The program consisted of lectures, reports, and hands on mission experience. The first half of my DTS, referred to as the “lecture phase” was spent in Newcastle Australia. During this phase I had twelve weeks of classroom setting lectures, where I heard from various speakers on topics such as; Bible Study, Character of God, Missions, and Lordship, just to name a few.

During this twelve-week period of time, our school was also involved in running a local youth group called Youth Street. Youth Street is a group that meets every Saturday and outreaches to the local youth. Every weekend was spent with the same group of kids, that way we could build relationships with them and ultimately lead them towards Christ. Each weekend we ran age appropriate activities, worship, messages, and small groups.

After the lecture phase was “outreach”, another twelve weeks of cross-cultural missions experience. During our lecture phase we were given two options for possible outreach locations, Brazil and Thailand were the choices. From there we were asked to not discuss our intentions with friends, instead take our ideas to God and wait to get His word on which location we should choose. Before I left for my DTS, God had put Thailand on my heart. Ever since hearing Aka John and his wife talk about Thailand in church, I have had Thailand on my heart. When I heard the options I automatically assumed I should go! I took it to God and He clearly confirmed my decision.

After forming our team, we spent time getting to know the culture of Thailand. We did various reports on the different people groups, cultures, and studied the language to prepare for our journey. Finally April came and eight others, along with myself headed to Thailand.

Our team was able to spend three months serving in three different locations. The first location we served at was with a YWAM base, outside of Mae Sot. There we held a mini version of what experienced on our Discipleship Training School for Burmese refugees did open-air outreach and led church services to the surrounding hill tribes. This was the most rural of locations, we got to live in bamboo huts, eat rice three times a day, and take showers with a bucket of cold water. Living like this not only made me feel super blessed and spoiled, it also opened my eyes to see that we are not as blessed as we think. Those in need are more blessed in having nothing, they literally live off of love and putting others first, it was quite an eye and heart opening experience.

Next we spent time in the western city of Chaing Mai. There we taught English with a ministry called The Centre, held various outreaches at the local universities, and taught in surrounding churches. During our days working with The Centre, we would go into the local universities and talk to students about the ministry. Through the afternoon we would teach various levels of English as a Second Language classes. After class we would spend time getting to know our students through sitting down for coffee or having them show us what they enjoy doing on their time off. We were able to make some pretty meaningful and deep relationships with the students.

Finally we spent the last leg of our trip in Phuket (pu-ket), working with a ministry called SHE (Self Help Empowerment). This ministry works to rescue local girls from the tourist filled bars and a life of prostitution. We spent our days doing practical work around the city and our nights going into bars to talk to the girls working. We built relationships with the girls who worked there, letting them know that there were other options for work and that they were valued and loved. Depending on which bar you were in, the girls could have been trafficked or prostituted. While ministering there, we saw two girls potentially walk away from their jobs in the bar. We were also able to hand out Thai Bibles to the girls we had spent time getting to know. For me personally, working with this ministry wrecked me in the best way! I had never experienced more spiritual warfare or the continual presence of the Holy Spirit in a more tangible way before.

I feel very blessed to have had the chance to experience both domestic and cross-culture missions and ministries; it has given me a huge perspective of the Church. I am very humbled by the opportunities God has blessed me. Again, I really cannot thank you enough for the words of encouragement, thoughts, prayers and financial support during this season of my life!

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ

Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Ephesians 2:10

Not Alone - Red

I am sitting at Starbucks...usual morning occurrence, thanks to sharing a car! As I am listening to this song and watching stranger after stranger walk through the door for their morning coffee, I can't help but want to stand on my chair and explain to everyone that it doesn't matter what their story is or where life currently finds them... they are not alone... there is hope! I want that to be the prayer of everyone I see at Starbucks today... God open their eyes to see/find Your hope, let them be strong and courageous today!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. // Deuteronomy 31:6

Now what?

I applied to Moody...again.
Round two. Deja Vu of my senior year of high school. It's kind of cool to think about how different my application essays are from almost FOUR years ago. I would not change anything about the last three years. Life has been exactly how God wanted it to. I met the people I needed to meet, saw the places I needed to see, and experienced God in ways I will never forget. The amount of growth that has happened in my heart is pretty crazy. To think of what God has allowed me to experience since 2008 is nuts! So now what? Time for the waiting game! Wait & trust God knows what He's doing.

With Us - Hillsong Live

I heard this song last night and now I can't stop listening to it...one thing about music and myself is that, once I hear a song I love, I tend to over-play the song at an excessive amount OR until I find something else I love. Today I will over-play this track...it's a weird cycle I have when it comes to my iPod. Listen to this song and you will want to over-play it too! It is exactly the kind of reminder of God's grace/love/mercy/plan for me I need this morning...!

full on.

Random rant time... After an almost two month long post-traveling-escape-from-real-life-siesta... I am now employed full time. It's an office job, which I love & the work is not that difficult or grueling, but it's the schedule that I can't handle!! It is so FULL ON... early mornings & 5 o'clock traffic! I really don't understand how parents work full time!? When I come home I don't want to do anything... I just want to go to sleep as soon as possible! It is hard to fathom adding other responsibilities to this kind of schedule... especially other humans! So yeah, I guess I should start praying that I don't have to work like this, when I have my own family. All that to say, this schedule is forcing me to maintain a healthy sleeping schedule, making me super THANKFUL for BOTH of my parents who work hard to provide for our fam and especially thankful that my mom didn't have to work while I was growing up :) Now go give your parents a hug... because they work long hours, so you can have MORE than you need in life!!

loving this song tonight.
Brandon Heath, The Light In Me

YOU are worth dying for.

At work today we were listening to K-LOVE ... I tend to harp on how cheesy some CCM is ... but I have to say that the lyrics of the song, Someone Worth Dying For by MIKESCHAIR are pretty gripping/raw/what-we-think-sometimes-deep-down... if I'm being honest, it is hard to truly believe that we (I ) are (am) actually worth dying for.

Take a listen and CHOOSE to believe that YOU are something worth dying for.




You might be the wife,
Waiting up at night
You might be the man,
Struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless

Maybe you're the son,
Who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl,
Thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, what everybody's asking

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah the Cross has proven
That you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

And you are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
Are someone worth dying for

You're someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for

photos

Thailand Outreach Photo Slide from clf815 on Vimeo.

aching for Thailand

After calling Thailand home for three months, when I start to think about it
I can't help but REALLY miss it! Today I was missing things like...



customs lines. smoggy sun rises. meeting missionary families. passing out Thai Bibles. an elephant ride. shady internet cafes. laundromats. fitting 18 people in the bed of a pick up truck. skype calls. running around the Chaing Mai moat, early enough to see the monks collecting the offering from the shrines. eating rice for all three meals. grocery shopping at 7-11 and Tesco. the colors and smells of the markets. language barriers. bad coffee, but good enough. baht. church services on the cement floor of an four wall church. Karen grandma's. being offered fanta in a dirty plastic cup. battery powered house electricity. nick names. cold showers, even if hot was an option. mountains. hand motions. song-tow adventure rides. learning. growing. sleeping in a bamboo hut. hospitality. sights and sound of the Burma & Thai border. alive churches. worship in Thai. lights & sights of Bangla Road. putting Satan in his place, before going into the bars. seeing the look on a refugee/orphan's face when she was told she was beautiful. living simply. being the minority/sticking out. roof top worship. sweaty bus rides. crowded streets. torrential rain. smoothies. long church services. the kids. trying to teach English in a creative way. walks to the corner hut for mystery snacks. speaking in church services with translators. bug bites. playing UNO with sponsored kids. MANGO. bucket showers with chickens and pigs. Starbucks for bar ministry intercessions. being faithful in the little. the sight of Phuket from a plane window. live monkey's. secret beaches. hill tribes. motor bikes. street vendors. fashion. uni students. the lady at the cafeteria bakery. wild dogs. won gen. hiking backpacks. seeing so many white tourist men. plastic chairs. Sa-wat-dee Ka / kob-khun Ka. culture sensitivity. trying and trying again to use chop sticks. avoiding spice. seems crackers. bumpy bus rides. seeing God move in Thailand.

that. is. Thailand.

cliché

God's timing IS perfect! These types of statements are unfortunately so cliche now-a-days. When we are going through a trial/hardship/valleys our sound minded friends tell us that His timing is perfect...everything happens for a reason...if it is meant to be, it will be. If we're being honest, we would say it crosses our minds to pop them a good one in the face for telling you 1,000,000x those flipping cheery/encouraging/positive statements!! When we are going through the hard times our vision is blurred. Satan places his smug in front of our eyes and we're blinded to see that God's timing IS perfect.

Two months ago this week: I staggered off of a plane, jet lagged, over dressed and hacking up a lung. Of course I came back with life changing stories, perspective and God-sightings...but I also had no job to come back to, twisted ambitions, $4.00 in my bank account and credit card debt. It seems petty to think that after God literally HANDED me $10,000 in the matter of 6 months.. it seems RIDICULOUS that I would doubt that God would provide for me once I settle back into life in Michigan.

Right when I got home Satan KNEW where & when I would give in... therefore he prowled like lion... I would give into doubting and get upset with God for not giving me a job when I, thought I needed a job. I went into almost every coffee shop, clothing store, library, and small offices handing out my resume...nothing. I spent time calling businesses asking what the status of my application was...nothing. I went into interviews with positive self-talk and Matt Redman's new track Never Once on loop...BELIEVING that God would give me a job...still nothing! How irritating...in my human mind I told myself I had reason to be upset and frustrated, instead of simply waiting.The past two months... I've certainly learned to wait, appreciate solitude, trust more, live simply, and that you can have fun on virtually zero cash :)

In my lessons learned God DID, of course provide me with a job, at American Eagle...paying 7.50, only if I could get a hang of forcing people to buy over priced holey jeans. I went with it, knowing a job was a job...even though I STILL wasn't satisfied. I went to orientation and went home knowing retail was not for me. I seemed like a brat for not appreciating FINALLY having a job, but I really sensed God has more for me than selling graphic tee's. I got a lead on two admin jobs and had a promising interview with Urban Outfitters... brings me to today, I got a part time admin job that pays more and in general suits me more. I called American Eagle and told them I was thankful for their opportunity but wouldn't need their job any more.

He hears what you want,
but knows what you need.

After a year of God CLEARLY proving He does indeed have perfect timing... I can now tell YOU that whatever it is that you are going through right now -- whether minor/insignificant or unbearable/too much -- God's timing IS perfect, He WILL see you through and He WILL remain faithful ... and I'm not trying to be cliché!

Psalm 94:18-19

“When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

Gotta Get Moving.

Am so PROUD! We are doing what we can to get physically fit ...
leading us to be more disciplined spiritually and emotionally.
The three go hand in hand! So we gotta get moving!!

birthday

family. sweet friends. pressies. twin brunch. lunch. dinner. dessert. coffee. the gym. praying for 22+ more.

M.A.S.H.

One hot Australian summer night this past March, my friend Sarah and I sat around a table filling out countless M.A.S.H. games on scratch paper for our girlfriends. One by one as a girl said "stop" to the line markings; we would ordain marriages, sell homes, deliver babies, give out pets, and decide the future of our friends. We sat there getting our friends hopes up or ruining dreams. It was all fun and games until you were the girl stuck married to Santa Clause, with 9 kids, a pet giraffe, driving a clown car and living in an Apartment.

The other night at watershed Bekah had us play M.A.S.H., this time it was a little nicer...we got to choose the potential husbands, number of kids, pet, cars, and then prayed we would land with the Mansion or House.

Bekah had us start the night with an elementary game, to display the not so elementary danger of unrealistic/unreachable expectations we set on relationships. The expectations we set on this game are the same expectation we set on how we approach dating/marriage relationships. We cannot set expectations too high on any human relationship, for one reason...we are humans! We often think if we could just date this guy or marry that guy we would have a this fairy tale perfect life. Humans are broken and imperfect, therefore making every human relationship broken and imperfect. The only truly fulfilling, one-sided perfect, relationship we can have on this earth is with the Creator of the universe. Therefore, our perfect husband, perfect best friend, or perfect life will always fall short of our expectations. So... lets lose the expectations! It is not fair to the other person to have such high expectations on them anyways, it is too much pressure for someone to constantly be living under.

Godly relationships flourish when we realize that no one is perfect, including ourselves. When you are willing to love someone else without conditions...keeping in mind that they are human and will mess up here and there...it is in the "mess-ups", when our unconditional love for them is tested. How will we react when the other person does not meet our ridiculous expectations? Will we kick 'em to the curb!? Mmm no...maybe we should learn to admit what we might have done to cause the situation, learn to forgive and move on... in love with out conditions.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Romans 12.9-12

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.
1 John 3:16

This song came on when I was writing...

I'm convinced this song will never get old and
that I will always need to hear it as a reminder,
thanks Bethany Dillon!

Psalm 27 (MSG)

1 Light, space, zest— that's God!

So, with him on my side I'm fearless,
afraid of no one and nothing.

2 When vandal hordes ride down
ready to eat me alive,
Those bullies and toughs
fall flat on their faces.

3 When besieged,
I'm calm as a baby.
When all hell breaks loose,
I'm collected and cool.

4 I'm asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I'll contemplate his beauty;
I'll study at his feet.

5 That's the only quiet, secure place
in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway,
far from the buzz of traffic.

6 God holds me head and shoulders
above all who try to pull me down.
I'm headed for his place to offer anthems
that will raise the roof!
Already I'm singing God-songs;
I'm making music to God.

7-9 Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs:
"Be good to me! Answer me!"
When my heart whispered, "Seek God,"
my whole being replied,
"I'm seeking him!"
Don't hide from me now!

9-10 You've always been right there for me;
don't turn your back on me now.
Don't throw me out, don't abandon me;
you've always kept the door open.
My father and mother walked out and left me,
but God took me in.

11-12 Point me down your highway, God;
direct me along a well-lighted street;
show my enemies whose side you're on.
Don't throw me to the dogs,
those liars who are out to get me,
filling the air with their threats.

13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God.

my prayer: spend it all

"We are not here to prove that God answers prayer, but to be living trophies of God’s grace" - Ossy Chambers

I open up my eyes, oh Lord / To see all the things you've done / I open up my heart, oh God / To feel your unfailing love / And I open up my all to you / All my life for your glory to show / And I open up my soul to you alone / Come make yourself at home

And I'll give all that I have to give / 'Cause it's everything I am, Lord / In this life I'll spend it all for you / I'll waste it all on you

I offer up my mind to you / I long for the truth, you know / I offer up my feet to you / They'll walk straight on the path you show / I offer up my time to you / So keep me and hold me still / And I offer up my hands to you / Lord, use them to do your will

And I'll give all I have left to give / 'Cause it's everything I am, Lord / In this life I'll spend it all for you / Yeah, I'll waste it all on you / I'll waste it all

Let your Spirit take me over, God / 'Cause it's all I ever need / Yeah, you're all I ever need, Lord / And receive this life in offering, God / 'Cause I spend it all for you / Yes, I spend it all for you, Lord / Ooh, I spend it all on you

My new theme song? I think yes.

label.ed

God is speaking to me a lot about L A B E L S .
First it was last week, in Nashville with our WSM students. Jerry did a really meaningful message on the labels that we believe about ourselves or labels that others put on us that we believe. Then last night at watershed we talked about our identity in Christ and how our only identity should be in Christ. Then this afternoon I was listening to a podcast that was all about labels and getting a new name for ourselves!! God orchestrates everything in our lives, so I know it's not a coincidences that all of this labeling stuff keeps coming up. I believe God is calling ME to look at the labels I've put on myself and believed about myself, or the labels that I've allowed others to put on me.

It's time for me to recognize the labels and pull them off. I'm tired of walking through life believing lies about myself. I just want to be known as God's... that's the only label I want to wear. Actually Cliff's message on Sunday was about following God and not looking at anyone else, keeping our eyes focused just on Christ...HELLO...that's what I want/need to do! Who cares what people have said about me in the past, who cares what I've believed about myself...I'm a NEW creation in Christ Jesus, the old has gone & the NEW has come...HE gave me a new name...the only label I want is that I am HIS.

...you shall be called by a new name which the mouth of the Lord shall name. // Isaiah 62:2

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! // 2 Corinthians 5:17