thursday thoughts.

1. this is exactly what He did in and through me...

You give the hopeless soul a brand new start,
You lead the captive in Your freedom song,
I know, this is who You are.

2. I'm feel so blessed to have friends literally, around the world. I got to have some needed skype dates, what did people do before skype!? It is crazy to think that God some how, miraculously allowed all of our different paths to intersect one way or another. It makes the world and the Church seem smaller...you can feel the community, I love it.

3. this week I was reminded that I need to spend more time LISTENING to God. I TALK to God all the time, but how often am I LISTENING!? Almost never..!! Yeah... I was talking with some people and this topic came up & felt a huge tug on my heart. I talk, talk, talk... when do I sit back, in solitude and LISTEN!? It's funny, because I would say I'm a pretty good listener in general, I LOVE to listen to people talk and share their heart... but when it comes to God & I, it seems to just a one way convo?! Gotta sit back & LISTEN to Him & stay in check on that.

4. I've recently started running, again... HOLLA! I maintained a good routine all through the summer and into the fall... then I just stopped because, I had an accident with my shin -- involving falling... I'm glad I can laugh at myself -- AND mainly cause it got cold out... typical. BUT it's not an excuse because I have a TREADMILL!? Yeah.! I'm lame. ONE day I want to run a half/full marathon and you gotta pick back up somewhere, right? Plus it feels good & keeps me healthy :)

5. When I was at work yesterday this caught my eye. When I started working at church I had put a ton of random things up on my massive cubicle pin-up-board; photos, verses, notes, post-its... last month I added the FREEDOM picture and it just dawned on me yesterday WHERE I had placed it... RIGHT by Luke 8:45-48... HELLO... that is basically the passage that led me to FREEDOM! I love sweet reminders like that.

journal roster.

It's a new year, lots of new things, including JOURNALS! the older I've gotten the more serious I've become about journal-ing...I tend to forget important details in my old age :) So here we go 2012 ::: journal 1. personal prayer journal; basically a journal between God & I, lots praises and requests... lots of forgiveness and joy goes into this one. 2. quiet time journal; in 2012 I'm trying to be more intentional about dissecting God's Word, via a journal to write, recite and memorize things. 3. to-my-future-spouse journal... in high school I tried to start a journal to my future husband and it never got kept up with... in 2012 I want to be more intentional about praying for my future husband and sharing thoughts/prayers with him, to one day have him look back on. I'm excited for new exciting adventures/seasons to be written in these journals.cheers to 2012 journal-ing!

fighting for freedom

whoa!... I went to Passion Conference last week. the theme was freedom. freedom for anyone and everyone. freedom in Christ. freedom from sin. freedom from slavery. freedom for the voiceless. freedom for the nameless. freedom for the faceless. in God's economy, everyone has a chance for freedom. [where the SPIRIT of the LORD is, THERE IS freedom]

the conference was fighting for two realms of freedom; spiritual & physical.

God taught me so much. every time a session ended I walked out dumb founded. it's not like I've never heard these truths before, this time it was just different. God seriously shook me to the core! He turned my heart inside out. I truly grasped His idea of freedom/grace, more than I ever have before.

the conference opened with a half-hour or so of spoken Word.! 44,000 people reading out loud different Bible passages, over and over again, Truth being proclaimed through this massive stadium... chills! of course the worship was amazing. the speaking was so captivating, hearing these speakers, who are all basically known around the world, share their hearts for this generation and fighting for freedom of those being held captive spiritually/physically was literally breath-taking. seeing an older generation, proud of this generation was also very humbling. God's hand was clearly over the entire week.... I don't really know how one could have sat through the sessions or worship with out sensing the Holy Spirit.! the presence of God was so tangible, lives/hearts were definitely transformed.

to make the massive sea of people seem smaller, they split everyone into 20 community groups of 2,000+, from there you got into family groups of 8! when they told us this at registration, the girls & I were so stoked! it was sweet to have a chance to connect with other college students from around the country... all finding/fighting for the same freedom. it was awesome to see God move through our family group & community group! very thankful for a sense of community amongst that many people.

with the idea of [freedom] as the running theme, we managed to raise 3 million+ dollars to help local/national/international organizations aid in ending human trafficking/modern slavery! we got to hear real-life stories of trafficking raids, hope, and heart-shattering statistic. today 27 million HUMAN beings [a story/ a face / a life] are enslaved!? His prized possessions, enslaved. His masterpieces, taken advantage of. His workmanship, chained.

a lot of times I'll hear people give the excuse that they can't help end slavery because they can't identify.. hello! we are/were all slaves! we were once enslaved by sin, until Salvation came into the picture. true freedom is only found in the HOPE of Jesus. we are all slaves to sin, until we raise our white flag to Jesus and surrender ALL to Him. Jesus' desire is that none of His prized possessions would be enslaved any longer... read the entire of Ephesians.




basically the whole week gave me chills:::

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

>MAJESTY stepped into our mess

>I am offended by [your sin],
but I am not afraid of your humanity - JESUS

>HE intersected us at the right time,
in the middle of our funeral procession...
bringing us back to LIFE

YOU REVIVE ME.
YOU TURNED MY DESERT,
INTO RIVERS OF JOY.

>You cannot be unclean enough
to make a mess out of Him

>He is clean enough for all of us,
Your faith leads to healing

DO SOMETHING NOW.
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME,
TO NOT ACT NOW.

>Being satisfied with Christ frees you,
from the bondage of sin...
by trusting, seeing, savoring

>It must be a desire, not just a decision

>Make the Name of Christ be your sight, savor satisfaction, desire, & trust

BLIND PEOPLE DON'T DECIDED TO SEE
-- WE DON'T DECIDE TO BE FREE,
HE DECIDED TO COME SET US FREE.

[Praying search my heart / Holy Spirit search my heart / As I draw nearer, Jesus be clearer / Cause Your Word will shine a light on my life, and I'll see You / Show Your face / Jesus, would You show Your face / As I draw nearer, Jesus be clearer / Jesus would You show Your face / As I draw nearer, Jesus clearer]

>We were raised from the dead,
given authority & now have to do something with it.

>We are being set up for a destination unknown to us,
fully known by the Creator of the Universe

>proclaim His name
f e a r l e s s l y .

>Brokenness doesn't disqualify you,
it fully qualifies you!

"that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." _ EPHESIANS 6v19-20
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* feeling overwhelmingly blessed to have been a part of such a movement.

I won't waste my life.

God is reminding me [a lot] lately to not waste my life.

^"15Look carefully then how you walk!
Live purposefully and worthily and
accurately, not as the unwise and witless,
but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),

¹⁶Making the very most of the time
[buying up each opportunity], because
the days are evil.

¹⁷Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.

¹⁸And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but ever be filled and stimulated with the [Holy] Spirit.

¹⁹Speak out to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, offering praise with voices and instruments] and
making melody with all your heart to the Lord,

²⁰At all times and for everything giving thanks
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God
the Father." Ephesians 5:15 [amp]

Recently I remember seeing a movie trailer for a new movie with Justin Timberlake in it. [hopefully you know what movie I'm referring to, because I don't remember the name of it]. From what I could see in the trailer, the characters had a digital time floating above their heads. They were constantly on the run to "buy" more time it appeared. What a picture that is! Sometimes I wish I had a life clock floating above my head! How much more would I get done in a day! How much nicer would I be? How much more time I would spend getting to know God. For me personally, I feel like my daily choices would look a lot different.

Unfortunately God didn't grant us with digital clocks above our heads. We have no idea what our clock is at; it could be at 429,843:03:45 or 9:32:14 ... With a mind set like this, I feel more inclined to not waste my life. Of course, death is a harsh reality, but it's something we need to think about. If I was to die today, what would people say about my life/personality/walk with Christ/how I treat others? Would they have to lie and make things up, to make me sound like a quality person? Would people know that I was a follower of Christ? It reminds me of the old school Nicole Nordman song, Legacy.

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Making the most of every minute, hour, days we have is important and it's something I take for granted. I often make plans for tomorrow or the next five years, arrogantly thinking I will be here. I have to remember that God is in control of my clock...today I'm going to start making a more of a conscious decision to let God make my plans & lead me where He needs me. So, I can make the most of my small time on the earth. When I no longer have breath, I want to have done everything I possibly could to expand the Kingdom & impact the world around me.

speaking t r u t h

While I was in Phuket, Thailand I had the opportunity to go into bars every night and speak t r u t h into the bar tenders lives. Depending on the situation it was just complimenting their make-up, telling them that they CAN dream big, or simply offering some sort of hope.

I remember talking to a girl on the other team over a bowl of cereal, about how important it is to speak raw t r u t h into our new friends lives, but not just our new friends...but all women. Women often struggle with their identity and confidence...so why not encourage the women in your life?! Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to speak over them...even if it feels awkward, say it & mean it! Really speak t r u t h into the life of someone around you...it could change their day, their week, their life. Every girl wants a gem // nugget of encouragement...so start today !!

"...let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]." Eph 4:15 AMP

i s a i a h fourty

I was reminded of Isaiah 40 today.
good read : good reminder : good God, amen!

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

A Lifetime Movie

What if your life was a movie? You would have the lead role. What other co-stars would there be? How would the other characters act? What kind of ending would there be? What would the climax be? Would it be a comedy or a tragedy?

I was listening to Band of Horses latest album the other day, while sitting in Caribou working on potential photography business plans. I couldn’t help but keep the title track Infinite Arms on repeat. Every time it would loop, one line stood out:

“It's like living in a movie twisting the plot…”

God, the ultimate director; gives Steven Spielberg a run for his money. In fact He has directed the most movies ever…in all history. For every person in the world there is a grand cinema being lived out daily. Scene by scene, God wrote it and is now directing your very own movie. Cool to think about eh?

Unfortunately, a lot of times we live like the line in the song. Constantly trying to twist the plot of the life we’re living. If we would just stick to the movie plot that God intended, we could continue to draw close to Him and we would see his work be fulfilled through us. Yet, once we start twisting the scenes to fit our selfish desires, the plans God had for us begin to be fulfilled through someone else’s movie -- ultimately making us to miss out on God's blessing and favor on our life. We need to stop twisting the plot God has for us and start living out the amazing plot He already wrote for us, the one He wants to see acted out.

We're even lucky enough to have out takes at the end of our film, every time we mess up a line or don't act the right way, we're given another chance to re-shoot the scene! Take after take, God's mercies are spread all over our movie, because we might forget our lines and mess up a scene. God knows where, when, and how we will mess up in our movie -- yet STILL chooses to give us another take.


God is the director of all directors and it hurts Him to see his actors try and twist their plots. It won't be easy to get all of our lines and acting right. In fact, it will take a lot of hard work and extra effort, but we can rest assured that our ending will be eternal.

Sunday School Throwback.

Tonight, I was reminded of Steve Green's sing-a-long Overcome Evil With Good. Evil comes and it seriously destroys through words, actions, thoughts, motives. I can't let it overcome me.
Romans 12 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, with that said - tonight I'm meditating on this.

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

¹³Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.

¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.

²⁰On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Let Us Pray

Jesus prayed for his followers, he modeled how we should pray through his word. We’re called to “pray without ceasing” and to “present [our] requests to God”. (1 Thessalonians 5:17 & Philippians 4:6) The house I grew up in had a stain glass window in the dinning room, with a picture of Jesus on his knees praying. This picture is a clear representation of what we, as followers of Christ are called to do...pray continuously.

Prayer is powerful. Things happen when God’s people pray. Yet, we can take prayer for granted sometimes, or at least I know I am guilty of it. Shallowly asking God to forgive my laundry list of wrongs, begging to pass an exam I know I did’t study for, or asking for things like I’m talking to Santa. Not that there’s a right way and no wrong way to pray, we just need to keep our motives in check.

Prayer is about communicating with God himself, not telling Santa what you want for Christmas. If being able to talk to the Creator of the universe is not powerful to you, I don’t what else is!? He hears us when we talk to Him. He longs for us to take time out of our day to talk to Him. As in any relationship, communication is the key.

That's why I LOVED Lighthouse last weekend! Before Lighthouse a group of us met to pray for Lighthouse. Of course, as a Collective we should constantly be praying for Lighthouse, though it seems especially important as we move into a new season. We prayed for anyone coming for the first time, for the future of Lighthouse, for those that attend regularly and that God would move through out the Collective. It was amazing to spend time in prayer before transitioning into worship.

To most of our surprise, we spent a good portion of the night in prayer -- instead of listening to a message. The entire Collective lifted up prayers of thankfulness, humility and simple requests to God. Thankful for those who had gone before us, that had set the platform we now have to reach more young adults for Christ. We humbly praised God for giving us this new chapter in our ministry, asking God to not let us lose sight of Him through these next big steps. Then we asked God to move in the hearts of those who had never been to Lighthouse before and that maybe by passing out postcards, we would be inclined to reach more young adults in our community.

Last night [Wednesday] I sat with my mom at my brother’s baseball game and told her how cool it was that we had prayed so much at Lighthouse. Not only did a group pray before Lighthouse, but that the entire Collective prayed during Lighthouse as well. The next thing I know, she suddenly started asking all these questions, “When were you praying?!” or “What were you praying about specifically!?”, as I answered her hurried questions, I shot back with a “why”, curious to why she was so excited about us praying during Lighthouse.

My mom began explaining to me the story of a woman she works with. This woman, not a believer, but knows my mom is, came to her in hopes she knew of a good local church for her daughter to get involved at this summer. The daughter became a Christian during high school, therefore wanted to go to a Christian college upon graduation. Now that classes are over, she’s home for the summer and has been struggling to find a church to get plugged into. My mom mentioned that Lighthouse was a great place for college students to get involved at, even if they’re only home for the summer. The woman seemed interested and said she would tell her daughter about Lighthouse.

The following morning my mom goes into work as usual, but this time is different, she is met by the woman from the day before. She begins to exclaim how she had told her daughter about Lighthouse and that she also seemed interested. The same night she had told her daughter about Lighthouse, her daughter went into work at Macy’s and was handed a Lighthouse postcard. The daughter is now planning on coming to the launch of the Summer Series.

When we pray God hears us and if we truly want to see God move amongst the Collective and in our community, we cannot stop praying. God really does move in mysterious ways and prayer does in fact work. Some would call this a coincidence, but I would call it the power of prayer. Therefore, let us pray.

Lily of the valley.

modern day miracle.

a mom & dad try to start a family but nothing happens.
doctors say it's not possible & other options don't seem to work.
at the end of the rope they begin to accept that maybe God has other plans for them.
with a simple e-mail & a few phone calls later, they meet the Lily of their valley.
God miraculously placed a baby girl in their loving arms
& they now have the family they had always hoped for.

Lindsay & I got to watch Lily this week while her parents were on a much needed vaycay. so far every morning when I've watched her eating breakfast or playing with her toys or squirming around ... I've easily been reminded that she is truly an answer to so many prayers & simply a...

m i r a c l e.

dreamer

This week I have had some of the most vivid dreams ever. All of which have involved people I know well, causally, or not at all [as in -- know of them, but not personally]. Some of them have been straight up bizarre and some of them I would love to see come true. Some have been totally unrealistic and some of them could very well happen. Dreams this vivid and realistic make me wish I knew the meaning behind them. Wondering if dreams actually really could ever hold meaning. In the Bible people encountered God and found meaning in dreams...dreams make me let out a big "hmmm..."

::sigh::

Guess we'll never know...

{sweet dreams have a new meaning}

::Redefining Love

It seems like in today’s world we overuse the word love. Not only are we saying it too much, we’re using it wrong. Instead of using love as a verb, we use it as an adjective. We use love to describe our liking of almost everything, or at least I often find myself doing so. I might say; I love this band, I love those jeans, I love my mom, or I love warm weather.


But do I really, actually love these things? A lot of times we say we love things and yet forget all together how to love others. We overuse a word that, as described in the Bible, has a lot more depth to it than expressing our liking of a new pair of jeans.

Love, in the Bible, is a call to action, something sacrificial you do simply because you love someone. Knowing that “luv is a verb,” as DC Talk would say, we can easily see that God didn’t intend love to be a describing word, but an action word. The Bible calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but how often do we actually put this kind of love into action?

This time year, the word love is plastered over everything; cards, candies, shirts, and balloons. What if instead of plastering love onto things, we plastered love onto people around us? What if we acted out what love really means? Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8,13 carefully and see how Paul describes love.

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Did you observe what love is not and notice what love actually is? Is that how you are going about loving those around you? Whether it’s your boss, professor, family member, or stranger, this is how we’re supposed to love others. These attributes are vastly different than us trying to describe our favorite jeans. Love is an action that the followers of Jesus Christ are called to display on a daily basis.

The Bible says that things of this world are temporary; therefore we must spend our days loving people more than things. It’s through the action of love that the world will see Christ displayed. Now it’s time we take back what love really means and put into action what God sees as love.

Ancient Skies

No matter the time of day, I love to observe the sky. What do you see when you look up at the sky? Do you look past the clouds? Can you believe how small we are compared to the sky? Are you quickly reminded of God when you see a pretty sunrise or a storm rolling in?


The sky is quite an intriguing part of creation. Everyone can see it; wherever you are in the world, we all see the same sky. To the human eye, the sky is constantly changing due to the weather and rotation of the Earth. No matter the change we see, its been the same sky since time began. We might see dark rain clouds, floods of red and orange hues, or simply a cloudless blue, but still it remains the same. Day might turn to night and seasons might come and go, but the sky itself doesn’t actually change; we just view it differently.

One summer night my sister and I were driving with the windows down and music blaring, when we were struck by the beauty displayed across the horizon. With my camera strap snug around my wrist, I stuck my camera out the window to snap this photo. It’s in this photo that I am reminded of our never changing God.

Our seasons might change, our view of life might be as bright as the morning or turn as dark as the night, yet we have a Creator that never changes. Our Creator, like the sky, is for everyone. No one is left out when it comes to discovering and knowing the beauty of the Creator, just like the beauty found in a sunset or flashes of lightning.

Psalms 68 says,
“Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth,
sing praise to the Lord, Selah,
Him who rides the ancient skies above,
who thunders with mighty voice”.

God rides the ancient skies. The skies might change view but God is still in them. Even when our circumstances are a cloudy gray or a bright hue, God is there. We can find him in every part of life and every view of the sky.

When we are open to it, God reveals himself in gorgeous and magnificent ways. The Creator of the universe chooses to display a magnificent master piece across sky on a daily basis. We are on His mind when he paints the sunrise every morning or brushes in rain clouds. He is everywhere, in everything, and with everyone, just like the sky we see everyday. We serve a Creator that like the sky is: bigger than we could ever imagine and for everyone, everywhere.

HOPE for Hope.

This is Hope. She came into this world fighting a fight she didn’t chose. Born with HIV AIDS in remote Ethiopia, Hope wasn’t cared for the way she needed to be; that’s when God moved in the hearts of a loving family, in hopes that they could adopt. Their hopes came true and Hope was adopted. Now she is able to get the medicine and upbringing needed to live as normal and healthy of a life as she can.

I met Hope two summers ago while ministering at Camp Barnabas. As ignorant as it sounds, I was a tad apprehensive the day I found out that I would be working with a child with HIV AIDS. Growing up unfamiliar with the disease and only exposed to the media’s hyped up awareness, I had no idea what to expect. I knew I couldn’t “catch it” or anything, but for some reason I still felt hesitant to work with a child with this disease.

The day came after all of the training and prepping when the campers made it to camp and I finally got to meet Hope. From the moment Hope walked into the cabin, there was something radiant about this 8-year-old girl. From the get-go all she seemed to know how to do was bring a smile to everyone’s face, forgetting she was even sick.

This radiance about her was HOPE. You could tell that Hope had HOPE. Though she was sick, the HOPE she had made her even her forget–for a moment–that she was sick. For one week, Hope showed me what HOPE looks like.

HOPE is… taking your (what seems endless) medicine without complaining.
HOPE is… smiling & laughing.
HOPE is… living life to our fullest potential & receiving Jesus’ LOVE & MERCY.
HOPE is… real & lasts.

Hope has HOPE… in spite of her earthly circumstance. Do you find true HOPE in the midst of your trials and pain? Do you see HOPE in your daily life? Hope has HOPE in her life; I hope you do to.

You make all things work together for my good.

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
::romans 8:28


new horizons + beginnings + different people&places + fresh perspective.

2010has already proven to be eventful...and it's still January!

Story-time. Two weeks ago my sister and I reached the point and it was confirmed that "it was time"...time to move out! Not that we don't LOVE our family, we just NEED to move out, move on. With a quick few email back and forth between some friends of ours from church and meeting with a landlord, we're moving [at the beginning of Feb] into an apartment in a downtown area which we love! GOD IS SO GOOD to us. Right now everything is just working out! For now anyway....still trying to do life one moment&step at a time.

God moves in mysterious ways.

THREE mysterious ways of GOD in ONE day.

1. The roads were totally dry on the way home from Kairos tonight. After a gloomy day of snow falling with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING saying roads would be super slippery and slide-y.. they were dry, dry, dry!? I have really bad brakes and STILL haven't bothered taking them in and yet, the roads were perfectly fine tonight..

((physical p r o t e c t i o n))

2. Instead of finishing my homework I checked my Facebook and got a friend request and wall post. Friend request from my elementary school"BFF". Just the other day in my Communications class, my prof asked how many of us were still close with the people we grew up with and I thought of her. Then I got a wall post from on of my good camp friends whom I haven't seen in two years. Just the other day at work, I was thinking a lot about camp life, friends and memories working there. I haven't really communicated with either of them in quit some time and was pleasantly surprised..

((sudden r e c o n n e c t i o n))

3. I just saw that the My Utmost for His Highest for today (12/16) is titled Wrestling Before God ::: "Beware of lazily giving up. Instead, put up a glorious fight and you will find yourself empowered with His strength." God knows me too well..... this is exactly what I was thinking about today. Earlier today I was even reading about perfectionism being linked with procrastination, how it causes people (like myself) to give up with out trying. I SO need to start working on not giving up so easily! AND then tonight I was sharing with the girls at Kairos how I feel SO confused on where/what/when I am doing&going next in my life. Confused because I am hindered by fear of missing it all together (whatever IT is) -- from giving up too easily, then I read that line in the devotional about being EMPOWERED by HIS strength..

((self e x a m i n a t i o n))


All of this can only equate to God moving & stirring my life up.
God DOES move in mysterious ways.
When we open our eyes, heart, and mind--He mysteriously moves in.

Dear Life,

Why are you overwhelming me right now? In between school + work, it seems there is just too much of everything going on all at once. There isn't really a day during the week when I can ever just sit and be still. I am always doing homework, at work, in class, or trying to do homework. A lot of the time I feel like I can't get everything done, that needs to be done. When will you ever get exciting?! Instead of being all work and little play?

this photo [fall2006] makes me miss using
35 mm film + processing in a dark room.

I need to keep reminding myself that,
ALL things are possible.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8

Ah-mazing summer nights..

Wow. This summer is dreadfully going by faster than I would like, HOWEVER at least I have something to look forward to at the end of my some what 'freedom' ... Hillsong Conference in Miami, which falls at the end of August! So excited, there are no fitting words. That’s beside the point. Summer nights are something I live for; warm breeze, nine o'clock daylight, bon fires, fire flies, being out late because homework isn't calling, or staying up late (and not because a paper is due in a few hours), spending time with friends, or listening to thunder storms. what ever the case my be, I love summer nights. This summer some nights are spent in a different sort, learning, hearing, praising, and talking about my God. Sunday nights, obvious; Lighthouse.. which is always good. And now just for the summer season; Watershed.. which is an amazing time where the women collective of thee Lighthouse Collective are able to spend time digging into God's word as a sisterhood. God has opened my eyes so wide this summer and it's not even over yet..!


I don't enjoy drama, I think girls can be too catty and that sometimes they are too much.. So girls Bible studies always make me a tad nervous at first, but after I test the waters (no pun intended) I really do end up enjoying them. This summer we (as in Watershed::Lighthouse girls) are studying Esther through the Beth Moore Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman study. The study itself is pretty good, but besides the study, the time we spend listening to each other talk is probably (for me) the most powerful. There is something about hearing girls share what they are struggling with and then coming to find that we are all basically struggling with the same exact things from day to day, no matter what background, shape, size, color, or personality we come from. Each of us have at least one thing in common, being a woman. I love that about this group. I love that when I hear a girl share her heart that I can relate to a tee with what she is dealing with. I love that, that is God. I love that God moves in each of our hearts to see Him through someone else’s struggle perhaps. It has been amazing the encouragement I have received from this Bible study and I am so expectant for what God is going to continue doing this summer.. for such a time as this (Esther 4:14) that the women of LH would be able to spend time with one another and share, learn, grow this summer! It is in fact amazing..



like .. love;
Not in a valley girl tone of course, but I do have to say I like love. Who doesn't like love.. Even for a guy, he has to like love, he has to like affection or relationship or contact or communication.. Though this could be coming from his mom or a sports team, I'm not an expert, but it doesn't take a scientist to know that EVERYONE likes love, people like being loved. This summer at Lighthouse, Cliff is starting series called 'Like Love', a dating/relationships/love/friendship/whatever it is series on none other but love! I have to say I am slightly stoked. In high school WSM did a series on love and boy/girl connections.. it was good, but this one will be a bit different seeing that for this group dating is no longer recreational (to some maybe) but for the most part it's now a time where prospective spouses come into play...anyway, what ever the circumstance, the first part was on Sunday and it was exactly what I needed to hear, it was the kind of message (which seems selfish, but true) that was directed right to me! It was all about how you can't think or go about a healthy relationship (boy OR girl) with hidden sin. The call for forgiveness is evidently key and of course something I have grown up hearing, but it was so right in my face on Sunday. I am so excited to hear the rest of what Cliff has to say about God, dating, and relationships in general. d e e p b r e a t h I am excited to see what God does in my heart after this ah-mazing summer.

final thought;
read this and be encouraged..

Love

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord.
20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:9-21

thinking out loud.

I was telling a friend in short last night of the dreams and desires I had in high school ... after finishing the conversation it dawned on me how strange it is that people’s dreams and desires change. Is it because times change, people change, economic change, fads change, is it God himself is molding and crafting your dreams into something more powerful than post high school/college aspirations? What ever it is that shifted my dreams and ambitions makes me wonder where and how I will actually turn out.. These are just thoughts I decided to spew onto the screen .. in the process of thinking, praying, seeking, learning, loving, healing ..

not here.

having major blogger block.

I will let you know when I am ready to type write again.