God's supremacy.

At Passion, I reluctantly bought their digital all access pass -- judging it as a total money grab, I was sold once they said we would get a discounted rego fee for 2013. THANKFULLY that's not the only sweet thing about this special pass... it gives you the audio/video to each session! As they've been coming through I've been trying to take time to listen to each session, again... I seem to get HEAPS more out of something if I hear it a second, third, tenth time. With that being said, I leave you with two things; 1. YOU would be foolish to not pay $25 for this digital all access pass. 2. here are snippets from John Piper's talk on the supremacy of Christ...good stuff!

Seeing and savoring the supremacy of Jesus Christ frees you from the slavery of sin, for the sacrifices of love.



Being satisfied with all that God is for you in Jesus, frees you form the bondage of sin, for the suffering of love.



Faith in Jesus Christ frees you from the slavery of sin, for the sacrifices of love.

2 Corinthians 3 v 18
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

He is supreme over ALL things.
There's not a square inch on planet earth,
where Jesus Christ doesn't say, Mine.

Little hearts give little lusts, big power. Big hearts give little lusts little power -- because they look little. When you see the magnitude of your Treasure, your soul swells to get around it and you mock [insert sin here] as a powerless thrill.

*content & photo credit; John Piper & Passion

love this analogy;

"Our life is like a house; for Christians, Satan never owns the house, Jesus does, but Satan can influence and oppress. We must recognize the ways in which we could leave doors and windows to our house open (such as through unrepentant, habitual sin). Through repentance and faith in Jesus because of his death, burial, and resurrection, our allegiance to Satan is canceled, and our freedom in Christ is granted. God’s enemy becomes our enemy and Jesus’ authority becomes our authority."

- mark driscoll

listen to full message here.

. . . . . . . . .

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

EPH. 6:10-13

experience grace / accept grace.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us ALIVE together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2 v 1-10

+ as children of God, we experience grace on a daily basis -- every morning we wake up to new mercies and second chances. have we really accepted this grace though? or do we just rely/live off of countless second chances? have we truly repented and turned from our sin? have we surrendered to Grace? until we clear/confess out our embedded sin, run away from it and give up our rights to a selfish life... we will have really accepted grace.

"Fragments of brokenness
Salvaged by the art of grace
You craft life from our mistakes
A second chance is heaven's heart
Countless second chances
We've been [freely] given at the Cross"

Psalm 27 (MSG)

1 Light, space, zest— that's God!

So, with him on my side I'm fearless,
afraid of no one and nothing.

2 When vandal hordes ride down
ready to eat me alive,
Those bullies and toughs
fall flat on their faces.

3 When besieged,
I'm calm as a baby.
When all hell breaks loose,
I'm collected and cool.

4 I'm asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I'll contemplate his beauty;
I'll study at his feet.

5 That's the only quiet, secure place
in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway,
far from the buzz of traffic.

6 God holds me head and shoulders
above all who try to pull me down.
I'm headed for his place to offer anthems
that will raise the roof!
Already I'm singing God-songs;
I'm making music to God.

7-9 Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs:
"Be good to me! Answer me!"
When my heart whispered, "Seek God,"
my whole being replied,
"I'm seeking him!"
Don't hide from me now!

9-10 You've always been right there for me;
don't turn your back on me now.
Don't throw me out, don't abandon me;
you've always kept the door open.
My father and mother walked out and left me,
but God took me in.

11-12 Point me down your highway, God;
direct me along a well-lighted street;
show my enemies whose side you're on.
Don't throw me to the dogs,
those liars who are out to get me,
filling the air with their threats.

13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God.

"Do you trust me?" - God.

(Isaiah 53-54) 53¹ Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
² He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
⁴ Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. ⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
⁸ By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
¹⁰ Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
¹¹ After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.















54 ¹ “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the LORD.
² “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
³ For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

⁴ “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
⁶ The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
⁷ “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
⁸ In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the LORD your Redeemer.

Wait for the Lord - Dr. Charles Stanley

Got this devo in an email today... hit my heart hard! Just what I needed to hear... Love when God does that!!

"Right timing is critical in a believer's walk with the Lord. However, trusting His timing in important decisions, uncertain direction, or pressing needs is extremely difficult when everything within us cries, "Do something!" Because we want action, waiting for God seems so passive.

To wait for the Lord means to pause for further instruction while remaining in the present circumstance. It is a purposeful, expectant focus on God—a choice to be actively still and quiet in our hearts, listening for His voice and watching for His intervention. The wait is not for events to work out as we want, but rather for God's will to be done.

The Lord's voice often comes to us through His Word. Because this is His instruction book for our lives, quiet meditation on Scripture is essential. Sometimes when I read my Bible, a passage will jump out at me. The guidance I'm seeking is right there, almost as if it has my name written on it.

At other times, God will use changed circumstances to redirect us, or He will motivate another person to give guidance. However, always remember that any voice offering us direction must align with the Lord's will as revealed in His Word; otherwise, it is not from Him.

The first step in waiting for the Lord is submission to His choice of how and when He will act. What are you hoping God will do? Are you seeking Him or the thing you want from Him? Because He alone knows what is best for you, let go and trust His choice." - In Touch Ministries

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.
//Psalm 130:5-8

Calling is our Calling.

J e r e m i a h 33:3 (Amplified Bible)

"Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know (do not distinguish and recognize, have knowledge of and understand)."

Beth Moore says in her Psalms study, "in God's economy, the only way up is down"... falling on our face before God and calling to Him is what we are CALLED to do. God wants to hear us, so we can hear HIM.

i s a i a h fourty

I was reminded of Isaiah 40 today.
good read : good reminder : good God, amen!

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Sunday School Throwback.

Tonight, I was reminded of Steve Green's sing-a-long Overcome Evil With Good. Evil comes and it seriously destroys through words, actions, thoughts, motives. I can't let it overcome me.
Romans 12 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, with that said - tonight I'm meditating on this.

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

¹³Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.

¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.

²⁰On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

JOHN 15:1-4

I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.

Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit
[that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away);
and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch
that continues to bear fruit, to make it
bear more and richer and more excellent fruit.

You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the
word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you].

Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me,
and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear
fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to)
the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.

You make all things work together for my good.

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
::romans 8:28


new horizons + beginnings + different people&places + fresh perspective.

2010has already proven to be eventful...and it's still January!

Story-time. Two weeks ago my sister and I reached the point and it was confirmed that "it was time"...time to move out! Not that we don't LOVE our family, we just NEED to move out, move on. With a quick few email back and forth between some friends of ours from church and meeting with a landlord, we're moving [at the beginning of Feb] into an apartment in a downtown area which we love! GOD IS SO GOOD to us. Right now everything is just working out! For now anyway....still trying to do life one moment&step at a time.

refreshing thought,

"...we have been wandering as spiritual exiles...living in a world that no longer fits our deepest longings." - the prodigal god

:: then LOVE came; filling our deepest longings and desires...what {comfort}

"He who did not spare his own Son,
but gave him up for us all—
how will he not also, along with him,
graciously give us all things?" ROMANS 8:31

Beautiful Day

Earlier, I was driving to work from church and I could not believe what a beautiful day it iwas! Though the air is quite crisp, today is simply a gorgeous fall day! During my twenty-five minute journey, the car temperature read 45° the entire time, yet I felt it necessary to have the windows cracked with the heater blasting – strange I know.. All of the sudden I heard, “The heart is a bloom…” I knew this could only mean one thing, that U2’s, Beautiful Day was about to be blaring over my crackly radio speakers, and how fitting right?

taken from my phone...while swerving on the road :)

Today has been a Beautiful gift from God. I guess everyday is, but today especially. I have so much to be thankful for on this Beautiful Day, and yet so often I take so much for granted. In church today--one thing I am thankful for, my church--our pastor spoke on temptation, referencing Luke 4:1-13…it was of course a slap in the face. One of the points was “resist the temptation to take short cuts” (vs. 5-8) 5 The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. 6 And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. 7So if you worship me, it will all be yours." 8 Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only." This is something that I tend to do so easily and is a honest struggle. Often, I believe the lies that Satan throws at me, and reach for the crown before I take the cross. I loved when my pastor said “short cuts abort the plan of God”, when I choose to take the short cuts, I am stalling the plan God has for me…taking the easy way out instead. My prayer for this week is that I would choose the cross before the crown, by NOT taking any short cuts – even if it means pain or persecution.

Well, that is one reason I have had a Beautiful Day…learning and growing in God can be so beautiful and I don’t want to miss any God given opportunities to do so. Now I am at work. One thing I actually really, really, really don’t like to be doing on Sundays is… working. But today I am trying to have a good attitude about it, because I am pretty thankful for the job I have. Okay now I just need to prayerfully pursue a Beautiful Week…even when my alarm clock does off at 6:30a, wish me luck.

Dear Life,

Why are you overwhelming me right now? In between school + work, it seems there is just too much of everything going on all at once. There isn't really a day during the week when I can ever just sit and be still. I am always doing homework, at work, in class, or trying to do homework. A lot of the time I feel like I can't get everything done, that needs to be done. When will you ever get exciting?! Instead of being all work and little play?

this photo [fall2006] makes me miss using
35 mm film + processing in a dark room.

I need to keep reminding myself that,
ALL things are possible.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8

*Keep Running...

God Disciplines His Sons

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

⁴In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to

the point of shedding your blood. ⁵And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ⁹Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! ¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, i

t produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
¹²Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

HEBREWS 12:1-12

Tonight, while spending time with God I came across Hebrews 12 ... this was the Post-It marking the passage that I so often forget to apply in my daily life. So many times I stop running (like this week)... I give up too easy, I walk. In an actual race (back in my Cross Country days..), our coach ALWAYS yelled, "Never stop running -- even if you have to just slow down your pace, NEVER stop running! Pick up those legs!" In reality (I hate to admit it) BUT when you are running a long distance and you begin to walk, from not being in shape -- it does indeed make your legs hurt even more than if you were to just simply slow down your pace to a jog. With Christ, when we 'walk' we are allowing Satan to slow us down, he doesn't want us to finish STRONG! When we slow down we give Satan the foot hold he desires. Slowing down amounts to us not spending time with God and letting our relationship with Christ dwindle. Yet when we continue to run with Gods strength, we are filled with JOY and PEACE ... we aren't ashamed for walking!! We don't live in SHAME or GUILT. When I would stop running during practice or a race I was left feeling ashamed and as though I had failed. God doesn't want us to go through life feeling like failures, he SO loves us that he sent his son to die, that HE could help us finish the race with HIS never ending POWER + GRACE + MERCY + LOVE! Christ wants to see us FINISH our race STRONG with out holding back .... RUNNING, SPRINTING to HIM alone. When we run to him our legs don't hurt as bad as they would from walking or slowing down with Satan. BUT when they do hurt, God is testing us to see if we have the will power to keep running through our trials, sufferings, or despair. The more you run and work out, the STRONGER you get, your legs no longer hurt or feel the burn -- in this case, after sting of sin -- that is guilt and shame. In Christ we don't experience a burn in our calves from walking, we find our STRENGTH to finish the race HE has set out for us. Will you join me and pick up those legs, get in shape + sprint for the finish line!?

ENCOUNTERING GOD

*In a moment that [to the world] looked like the biggest failure, turned out to be the worlds greatest success story ever ... Jesus' death + resurrection for humanity.
-joel houston (via my paraphrased notes)

God is alive. He IS the great I AM, not the great I WAS. Same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The first and the last. Yahweh. Provider. Ever present help, in OUR time of need. A God of LOVE and MERCY no one can ever fathom...this is the God I serve. This is the God that desires ME and YOU. This is the God that sent his one and only son, to die an undeserving, criminals death that to the world looked like a FAILURE, turned out to be the greatest SUCCESS story ever..Jesus died so WE could have LIFE. This is LOVE, real, true love. God wants to encounter YOU, try encountering HIM.

Yew..God is too good. I had the honor and privilege to go down to Miami Florida this past weekend to worship with Hillsong United and their pastors. The conference was called Encounter, and an Encounter it was! The worship of course was amazing, you could just sense the presence of God throughout thee entire arena. As for the speaking, the pastors at Hillsong blew me away...I will be honest, I came to the conference with this pre-meditated inkling that the people from Hillsong Church were (sinful nature..we ALL judge :)) a tad arrogant and perhaps not in it for the right reasons -- I was -- to my delight, proved wrong.. I was actually a little shocked at how humble and down to earth those from Hillsong Church were, I mean we do get caught up thinking they are these huge celebrities because they are known internationally and sell out shows BUT the truth of the matter is they come from their local church. So, pretty much their conference was just a glimpse of what their church looks and feels like on Sundays. They were so passionate about Jesus and making HIS name famous that the event almost had nothing to do with the people behind the conference!! I loved that. I will say though, if you've ever seen a Hillsong DVD or clip of them performing they obviously have cool lighting, great music, and all the rest of it BUT they do a pretty good job of not making it about the people on stage and making sure all the praise goes right to Jesus and making HIS name known.

Pastor Phil Dooley, Brian Houston, Scott Samways, worship leader Joe

l Houston and anti-slavery activist Zach Hunter all spoke throughout the weekend...definitely life changing messages from each of them.

Phil Dooley spoke the first night on Tearing Down The Walls, this was one that spoke right to me! He talked about how as Christians we are to tear down the walls of self- shame+guilt- judgment- indifference. Walls of self make us become more concerned about what WE are doing and loose sight of what GOD is doing...causing us to miss what God has set for us. Walls of shame + guilt cause us to live feeling like failures when Christ already succeeded for us on the cross! "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." (John 3:16-17)

Brian Houston spoke on Encountering God..this one was powerful. Plus he is really passionate when he speaks so it cuts right to the core. He referenced John 9, when the blind man is healed through obeying Jesus' commands, "The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see." (John 9:11) Clearly, the blind man had a true God encounter. God encounters; where things are changed- doors are opened OR closed- dreams are renewed. He talked about how we are to live knowing AND expecting God encounters. When we experience an encounter, Satan does EVERYTHING to under mind it and fills our soul with doubt, as if it wasn't a true God encounter. We are to believe in the impossible. Though, the people in John 9 could not believe that the blind man was able to see, the man himself had believed in the impossible -- therefore the impossible took place, by Christs healing power. Finally, Brian talked about how we cannot allow our voice of reason and logic get in the way of truly encountering God. We can't let these thoughts undermind the POWER of what God can do -- "An encounter is a collision with the unexpected."

Then they did a tag team type session on Faith+Hope+Love, where Scott Samways spoke on Faith Zach Hunter spoke on, Hope and Joel Houston spoke on, Love...((add message notes later))


"Oh, the depth of the riches
of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"For from him and through him
and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen."
Romans 11:33-36

Matthew 6:10

Y O U R
K I N G D O M
C O M E ,

Y O U R
W I L L
B E D O N E.

H E R E O N
E A R T H

A S I T I S
I N H E A V E N .

Speechless

Sometimes I can't find the words that would do any justice to explain what it is that is eating away at my brain .. pondering .. thinking .. praying .. dreaming .. wondering .. questioning .. seeking .. hmmm, yep no words fully describe it.. I am simply left speechless at the magnatuide of my Creator and what it is he is all about. I just have so much on my mind right now I can't explain it. God is a crazy God, he knows what hes doing and for reasons I don't know right now .. or maybe will never know. What I do know right now is, that I am learning and finding God in places I never thought possible, this is a crazy adventure that I need to be okay with. Okay to be inconvenienced. Okay to be used by God in ways I can't imagine! Emotionally, physically, and spiritually.


For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it. :: Habakkuk 1:5

_________________________________

[EDIT: the next day.]

So this morning I was driving and was thinking, about how I can't find the words to explain just how God has been showing up in my life lately. I switched on the radio and Speechless - Steven Curtis Chapman came on ... hmm, yeah that's God.

"And I am speechless I'm astonished and amazed.
I am silenced by your wondrous grace.
You have saved me,
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am speechless in your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us,
A love that leaves us speechless"

THEN, another song came on and the lyrics really hit me and made me think + examine how I am spending the time I have here, right now .. they sort of go along with what I have been thinking a lot about lately; "Don't be afraid to stand out, that's how the lost get found." I love how God works.

Unfailing God.

Yew.. where to begin.. Okay so God + I time tonight was so needed first of all, but wow it was so crazy how God shows up the way he does! Setting the stage for awesome God time; I am home alone for the week while the parents and twin serve in a devastatingly poverty stricken small town in West Virginia. My sister went to South Africa for three weeks serving over there, mainly to the youth. And my older, younger (too quickly turning into a man..ha) brother is also serving (closer to home..but not at home) in a predominantly Muslim community.. I know it will be life-changing for him. Okay, so there you have it.. I am left here with my youngest brother, whom I love and adore. HOWEVER, I am truly, deeply, hate to admit it, actually missing my family being around.. I feel safe with them, safe; physically - protection, emotionally - I can be myself and my true colors show when I am with them, physically - not being able to communicate with them (especially my twin) is SO hard..way harder than I thought! Okay! There you go, that's the background for MUCH needed God and me time .. date with Jesus.. more than a date a true encountering of my God!

Whether I am going to study, serve, or worship I always, try to start God and me times with praying, that God would open my eyes and heart to what he is trying to teach or show me. Side note I have never.. maybe once? Okay, not that I could remember have ever really gotten broken up or truly emotional over praying to my Creator..I know it sounds outrageous (because it is!) but I always, always, have blamed it on that I am JUST NOT AN EMOTIONAL person.. that's why I don't cry over anything.. well lets just say that changed tonight. It sounds strange but I actually have been asking God to so break my heart that I would shed true, raw, and hard tears.. Tonight I did. I just laid it all out there - - e v e r y s i n g l e t h i n g that has been tugging and nudging on my heart.. sin, struggles, doubt, worries, fears, desires, thoughts, dreams .. pretty much everything honestly. Every thought and word I spoke to my Father made me shed tears.. streaming down my face.. I couldn't control it.. I couldn't believe it either! I was actually (finally) crying because I was so heart broken over what I was saying to God.. struggles I had to get off my chest, desires and dreams I am confused about, what ever it was. It's as though, for the first time - - seriously - - the first time I was so vulnerable with God, that I knew and realized that I couldn't run or hide from him.. I was found out, it was like I was sharing my deepest darkest secrets with a friend without holding back, I obviously know God knows my heart inside and out, BUT it means more and does more when we as his prized possessions, children, lovers, can physically speak them out to him and have a true heart to heart with HIM! ((AT THIS POINT OF THIS POST I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF THIS WOULD MAKE SENSE.. I just want to remember times like this)) Wow.. Okay I have lost all train of thought at this point.. BUT this time of sharing and praying and seeking Gods face was so POWERFUL.. it was so healing and rejuvenating and refreshing for my spirit I could not have asked for a better date.. best date I have ever been on thus far in my relationship with my Love. s i g h . . . wow I forgot ONE more crazy happening .. I had hardly even opened the word after praying and being emotionally distraut (sp? my automatic spell check is currently MIA as I type .. so I can only hope for the best at this point) when I came across this verse, Philippians 4:4-6. Now, I do believe sometimes God might only want us to read just a verse or two and truly meditate on.. it's like quality vs. quantity. So I was like, hmmm I love Philippians (the entire book is amazing) .. so I re-read it a few times and looked at the meaning(s) of the words and really chewed on what the few lines read. When I first read it .. I laughed out loud .. with tears still warmly streaming down my face .. I couldn't believe how it was EXACTLY what God had chosen for me to read, right then and there;

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:4-6

pe⋅ti⋅tion

-noun. a request made for something desired, esp. a respectful or humble request, as to a superior or to one of those in authority; a supplication or prayer: a petition for aid; a petition to God for courage and strength.

This verse was literally what I was praying about and asking for! -- AND when I was reading those words, the song Unfailing God - Desperation Band came on.. the thought of knowing how my God has never failed me blows my mind! and plus seeing first hand that God indeed provided the perfect passege for me to read (it's the little things) is so amazing.. I fail TOO much.. everyday.. every minute, and STILL some how, he has enough grace and mercy to love and cherish me the way HE does.. it's crazy! I know, and realize 'God and I' time isn't always this exciting or powerful (to me anyway, just being honest).. BUT what if it was?! My prayer is that my relationship with Christ would never seem boring.. more deep breaths.. Okay I have to go to bed NOW.. work is in a few hours.. not good! Meditate and realize the fact that we have NEVER been unloved, forgotten, unreachable to the Creator.. He is reaching for me, for you..dancing over us, singing over us, waiting, watching.. take hold and don't look back.. it will change your life I promise.

silent moments

I should be sleeping. I can't sleep and it's just me and my Creator ... in the quiet and the stillness, it's powerful; the presence of God. " You hold me now", such a truth. God shows up when we call on Him, He really does answer, like right now for me.

*this passage is crazy ... you have to read the whole thing, don't skim it -- I am in one of those "ahh God" moments ((powerful))

Psalm 73
A psalm of Asaph.

¹Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

³ For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. ^[c]

¹¹ They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

¹² This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.