Satan is pushing ALL of my buttons right now... I feel hopeless, confused, anxious, uncertain, tired, agitated and annoyed. It's hard to go from the top of a mountain to the bottom of the valley. I'm at such a weird vulnerable state right now, one that I've never really experienced in my adult life. I literally do nothing during the day, I have no job, I have no money to go anywhere or do anything...I have to ask my parents for money or they give me a few bucks out of pity... I hate it! I hate feeling & living life like this! I go for a run or a bike ride every morning & wonder how & why my life looks like this!? I seriously ponder what life would be like if I had never left my comfy life in the first place...this time last year I was living on my own, had money in my bank account, and had a generally fun life. Life isn't fun right now...it sucks! I need Your help Jesus...I'm being attacked and I'm allowing Satan to win!? What's wrong with me...help me! I had so much purpose .. meaning .. identity while I was in Australia and Thailand...why is it SO hard to find those things in "real life"?! Maybe I'm just having a bad day...maybe I'm hormonal....maybe God's trying to teach me something & I'm blatantly ignoring the lesson...maybe I'm a brat...what ever it is, I need God to lift me out of this pit I fell into. Jesus keep my head up & push me into the narrow gate, because I need L I F E again...You never said this would be easy."Enter by the narrow gate...Because narrow is the gate and
d i f f i c u l t i s t h e w a y w h i c h l e a d s t o l i f e"
—Matthew 7:13-14
