CRAZIENESS

life is so crazy right now. I don't even know where to begin. school is coming to a close (for the semester) equaling more stress to make the grades and get the papers done. my youngest brother was in the hospital for about a week, and is still home from school causing much stress on not only him - both of my parents. he broke his toe a couple of weeks ago, and since doctors can't really do anything to broken toes, it wasn't examined the way it should have ... in the mean while, an infection developed in his big toe bone - which is kind of serious. so he went through surgery in hope to rid him of the infection and he ended up staying over night in the hospital for about six days ... crazy! he is doing better today but is still immobile, using a walker and wheelchair .. poor guy - he even had to do the whole trick-or-treat thing in the hospital. anyway so that situation has been crazy, but God has remained faithful and really had His hand in the situation. then of course fall saw his way out the door this weekend. no more pretty leaves on the trees or sweat shirt weather..it got frosted over by SNOW! thankfully it wasn't enough to call school off or anything, but the fact that it totally overlapped fall made me sad! fall still had a couple more weeks... on top of that a local station is already on 100% Christmas music till the 25th! and then me and my mom were at the mall the other night and it was like it was Christmas eve or something when everyone is panicking and scurrying around to make their final purchases - it was soo crowded and busy! so anyway, another crazy thing is that due to the weather my car has been acting sketchy .. and so pray we make it through the winter! on top of already acting funny, my dad accidentally turned on the 4x4 drive the other day ... 4x4 on relatively dry pavement is not a good or fun situation! and you're probably thinking - oh just turn it off, easier said than done...my car is not in shape enough to simply press the 'off button'...life gets crazy sometimes

okay in other crazy happenings, on Sunday, Cliff spoke out of the end of Act 4, into chapter 5 ... it was very compelling. in an nut shell, we are all carrying our daily burdens and struggles, but we often put them under the rug when Sunday rolls around, as we mock God by lifting our hands and closing our eyes in worship of the Creator of the UNIVERSE, the One who died a sinners death, the One who loves us more than we can imagine and the One who we discard on a daily basis - because we don't feel as if our needs will be fully met when we rely on Him alone, when in all realness and trueness, every need we have or long for is FULLY and utterly met when we solely rely on the Creator and we are given chance after, chance, after chance ... we live one way on Sundays and are to prideful to give up and fully leave our sin, causing us to live a completely opposite way during the rest of the week ... we are all guilty of being hypocrites or liers who cover things up, at one time or another, just as Ananias and Sapphira; as they lied not only to Peter, but to God, ultimatly resulting in their death .. yet God keeps giving us His grace and mercy. when will we stop our old ways and see that we might not have another chance to make things right. I am competely guilty of modeling this frightening routine. God truly opened my eyes on Sunday after hearing this and as we closed with The Stand, the lyrics in that song are so powerful and really made me think... am I completely relying on God with every area of my life, giving Him my burdens and leaving my old ways and wholly surrendering!? we must get off the fence and completely surrender to Him alone!

I pray God, You would show me all of my flaws and reveal to me the thing my pride hides from me, that I might not continue to feel the guilt of living one way during the week and "acting" another way at church as I "worship" the Creator in true mockery fashion. God, allow me to become and remain authentic in every aspect of my life, that I wouldn't have to hide shame and filth! I love You, continue to work through me and use me as You please ...