Wednesday, April 5, 2017

insta boast | part one

you can tell you are close to someone when you start talking in weird-unnatural-funny sounding voices. it happens over time, usually without any sort of explanation. you subconsciously pick up weird phrases & tones that never existed prior to that relationship. if you ever read through my texts or overheard private conversations I have with my go-to-people, you'd probably think you were either listening to toddlers struggling to talk or maybe someone with a weird accent or perhaps a speech impediment?! [I'm exposing my humans as I type this, ha!]

sometimes our lingo involves adding an unnecessary "g" sound to any word that starts with a "c". or we may call each other weird names that are not even close to an offshoot of our given name. or there's my boyfriend who is an expert at cartoon voices, in fact I sometimes wonder if he completely missed his big break as a cartoon voice actor. some of us say "gol", which originates from the expression "golly" and "gah" - perfectly meshed into one easy to use exclamation. I'm sure all of our mothers & grade school teachers would shake their heads & roll their eyes if they heard us communicate to one another. bless it.

recently my twin sister & I were talking (in our language) about an instagwam boast we had scrolled past. in that split second our silly, everyday, seemingly normal, yet very unusual language communicated one of the LOUDEST revelations I have had in quite some time.... WHAT IS MY INSTAGRAM BOASTING?! in this case I don't just mean post, like an actual BOAST. what is my secret language on social media?! am I communicating encouragement or garbage? am I subconsciously fueling my self worth with a little graphic heart?! am I doing enough, to compete with professional cameras & air-brushed women?! what do my posts say about me? what are my POSTS BOASTING? does the time spent hyper scrolling even bring any sort of lasting value to my short time on earth?! why do I NEED a certain filter? why is coming up with a caption the hardest part?! my head was literally oozing with my over-analytical thoughts. in that second, I made a rash decision to delete the IG/FB apps from my phone for lent & to carefully continue to monitor my posting & time spent scrolling. 
Instagram is a mobile photo-sharing application and service that allows users to share pictures and videos either publicly or privately on the service, as well as through a variety of other social networking platforms, such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Flickr.
boast (verb) talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities. (noun) an act of talking with excessive pride and self-satisfaction.
please don't get me wrong. social media is an excellent tool to promote GOOD in this world, social media can give advice on how to live a healthy life-style, it can keep us up to date with friends around the globe, social media can encourage strangers, it shares cute stories & informs us of things happening around the world. unfortunately while social media continues to make the world feel very small, it's continuing to make me feel even smaller. SO I am writing a blog series about my experience as a recovering IGQ (instagram queen). join me as I try to write about what I've been learning, by experiencing life outside a square filtered catch phrase.

* series disclaimer: this is clearly just my personal convictions & struggles with social media (mainly Instagram)... that's why I've taken to my own online diary. I am certainly not condemning social media. I LOVE social media. my psyche just needs a break from hyper scrolling. so post on.!

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