Oh God... what are You telling me? where are You sending me? why am I so confused?!
I really don't think I've ever been so confused about the future in my life... I'm getting super anxious [hate it] about what's going to happen next. I'm TRYING to walk on water and I keep looking down. it's so frustrating... I just want to walk towards Jesus and my human mind of logic, planning and reasoning is getting in the way. I like things to be definite, this or that. and right now life's next stage is definitely indefinite and more like this, that or maybe that... too many choices for what's next. >> this is such a scary spot for a VERY indecisive girl.
there are four different locations, one school option, one leadership opportunity, or being left clueless in Michigan for another season of life... none of this is making sense now, but it some how makes sense in my head... I'm just REALLY confused on where/what I'm supposed to do next.
every time I pray about what's next I don't hear anything? so does that mean I'm just supposed to keep waiting?! just keep trying to listen? God I need You to speak as clearly as You did in the past, why am I not hearing You right now!?
if I get into Moody Chicago, am I just supposed to go there!? what if I get into Moody's WA campus? what if I'm supposed to move back to Australia?! what if I'm supposed to stay in Michigan?! I. am. so. confused.
this is my way to written-out-word-ly processing the situation, obviously :/
“Come, he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat,
walked on the water and came toward Jesus."
Matthew 14:29
help me.
6 comments:
Oh man do I understand where you're at. I have been and definitely to some extent still am there. My only advice is this, your highest, most noble, most effective calling is to know Jesus. Do you know Jesus? Then were will you get to know him more? And besides that, sometimes God just wants us to make our own decisions, and he'll let us know from there.
One final thing, dont mistake opportunity for obedience.
You're great! No matter where you are, you will be used because your heart is So right.
On ya grandma.
God's got all of it under control! :) I know you know that, but you're trying to make a decision about something(s) you can't make yet. Doesn't it sound silly when it's put that way? I know it does for me. None of these things you're waiting for will really come to fruition without time and doors opening/closing, and those are things you can't control. What you can control though is taking every thought captive in obedience to Christ; you can immerse yourself in God's Words and find peace! The other thing that always helps me is remembering there is no way we can mess up God's will, and His will for our lives! How can you make a decision that's a mistake when God won't let that happen?
Love you!!
You are amazing Courtney, I trust that you hear God's voice. Sometimes you just have to take a step of faith. I would repeat what your friend wrote on FB, where is God's peace? that's a great guide to where He is leading you!
I have been asking myself some of the same questions. Sometimes it's so hard to hear him. Praying for peace and assurance for you today!
Whoa! Thanks for these encouraging words friends!! It seriously means A LOT to me :) I'm thankful to have people in my life that lift me up when I'm down & want to keep pointing me towards Christ!!
I have added you to my prayer list, new blog friend!
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